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“Why Don’t My Boyfriend’s Parents Like Me?”-15 Reasons

“Why Don’t My Boyfriend’s Parents Like Me?”-15 Reasons

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Your boyfriend’s friends or acquaintances not liking you may not be such a big deal.

You may be able to manage somehow without their approval.

But if your boyfriend’s family, specifically his parents, do not like you, it may be a cause for concern.

Not necessarily because you need their approval to validate you as a person or your place in your man’s life.

But because family is an integral part of everyone’s life, being in a bad place with the parents of someone you love may affect your relationship with them.

Although you can’t force anyone to like you and shouldn’t consume yourself with thoughts of their dislike, it helps to know the reason for their ill feelings.

Particularly if you and your boyfriend have future plans.

“Why Don’t My Boyfriend’s Parents Like Me?” :15 Reasons

1. You’re different from them

why don't my boyfriend's parents like me

A possible reason for your boyfriend’s parents dislikes is that you’re different.

Be it cultural, racial, religious, or tribal differences, many people tend to be initially unwelcoming to people who are different from them.

They may have certain prejudices against your background, culture, race, or political beliefs.

This is sad because amazing people come from different tribes, races, and continents.

And judging a person negatively solely based on their difference in terms of culture or race can be very unfair.

Unfortunately, this still happens to many people.

A lot of people get disliked because of where they’re coming from.

I must say that people sometimes have some valid reasons for feeling aversive towards people of other tribes or cultures.

They may have had previous negative encounters with people from your territory and subconsciously created a bias.

If you have acted in certain ways similar to what they experienced with people from your territory, you may have unknowingly enforced the stereotype in their minds.

This can make them dislike you.

2. Your values and lifestyle

Lifestyle and values are another possible reason your boyfriend’s parents don’t like you.

They may have observed your lifestyle or even heard about you from a third party and realized that they disagree with your ways.

Now, if you were some random stranger, they may not dislike you even if your lifestyle and values conflict with theirs.

But since you are their son’s boyfriend and can potentially become a huge part of his life, they may express their dissatisfaction about you.

3. Your past

why don't my boyfriend's parents like me

Whatever happens in the past is meant to remain in the past, right?

Well, I think not.

Actions have consequences, and even when they happened a long time ago, they can still influence your life in some ways.

This is one of such ways.

You may have a not-so-great past or secret that you would rather bury and move on.

But it can get exposed and into the ears of many.

If your man’s parents get to hear unpleasant things about you, even if they’re in the past, they may not like you.

It’s not fair to judge you by your past, I know.

But many times, people do it.

4. They think you’re a bad influence

If your boyfriend’s parents think your presence in their son’s life influences him negatively, they will dislike you.

His actions since he met you may have slightly changed, and they may have linked it to you.

If his being with you has made him start engaging in certain lifestyles and indulging in some habits he ordinarily would not; his parents may not like that.

5. They are overly critical

Sometimes, people’s attitudes towards you may not necessarily have anything to do with you.

It may just be a reflection of who they are.

Do you have that one friend or family member who complains about everything and never seems to be pleased or impressed by anything at all?

That may be the case with your boyfriend’s parents.

Maybe they are overly critical people who are difficult to please.

Dealing with such people can be difficult and exhausting.

It will be an unending race of trying to make them see your worth and value.

6. They want someone else for him

why don't my boyfriend's parents like me

Parents wanting to influence their children’s choices of a romantic partner is a practice that has been common for a long time.

Even if they do not outrightly choose who their son dates or marries, they may still want to have some form of influence over it.

Maybe they have someone else in mind that they’d like their son to date.

Or maybe they have an idea of the ideal woman for him, including, and you don’t seem to fit into it.

Whichever the case is, they just have a feeling of aversiveness towards you because you’re not who they want for their son.

7. Toxic traits

why don't my boyfriend's parents like me

Every parent wants the best for their child, including wanting them to have a great partner.

If you have obvious character flaws and negative traits, which you have expressed towards your boyfriend’s parents in one way or another, it would be unreasonable to expect them to like you.

You can’t possibly expect them to take a liking to you and endorse your relationship with their son if they see that your presence in his life hurts him.

Bad behaviors, in any form or style, are a turn-off for anyone.

No one wants to deal with a toxic family member or in-law.

And if love has prevented your boyfriend’s eyes from seeing your flaws, Cupid may not have that much power over his parent’s eyes, too.

8. You’re strong-willed

If you are opinionated and strong-willed, and your boyfriend has controlling and manipulating parents, they may not like you.

Parental control is a real thing in many families.

Some parents can be overbearing and unnecessarily controlling.

From their few encounters with you, they may have noticed that your strong character may challenge their control over their son.

And may not give them the chance to impose their decisions, mindsets, and opinions on you.

Maybe they have been controlling or largely influencing their son’s life and want him to date someone they can equally control.

No matter how great you are, they may not like you if you do not fall into that category.

More so, they may think you will influence their son into becoming unresponsive to them, too.

9. Negative first impression

why don't my boyfriend's parents like me

The ongoing debate about whether or not first impressions matter should have ended by now.

Because there have been many proofs time and time again in people’s lives that indeed, first impressions do matter.

Your first encounter with someone can determine how they see you for a long time.

If your first meeting with your boyfriend’s parents was not a great one, maybe you were not on your best behavior that day, or there was some form of misunderstanding,

Or something about your appearance made them judge you and create some unfounded biases.

It may significantly influence how they now see you generally.

10. Lack of respect

This is a common reason for disapproval from parents.

They may have perceived some lack of respect from you, leading to their dislike.

This does not necessarily mean you lack courtesy or are disrespectful.

Respect is communicated in different ways to different people.

Your actions may not have accurately communicated courtesy and respect to them in a way they understand.

11. Jealousy

why don't my boyfriend's parents like me

Jealousy and possessiveness do not only exist between people with romantic interests in each other.

Even parents can nurse feelings of jealousy and the fear of losing their child.

Especially if your boyfriend is an only child, an only son, or a favorite child.

Your presence in his life may make his parents feel threatened.

They may feel like you are trying to take their place or make them less important to their child.

12. Their son’s past experiences

Past experiences influence people’s mindsets and can even determine how they act in the future.

If your boyfriend’s parents have met his previous girlfriend(s) and it didn’t exactly go well or ended very negatively, it may create skepticism in them.

They may not manage those emotions well and end up taking out their frustrations on you.

You may be wondering what you did wrong, not knowing you’re just paying for someone else’s sins.

13. Misunderstandings

If you have had a misunderstanding with your boyfriend’s parents, that may be why they don’t like you.

But a much worse situation is if you didn’t even know there was a misunderstanding.

You may have unknowingly crossed boundaries or said something they interpreted wrongly.

This miscommunication or misunderstanding can bring about unpleasant feelings.

Personality clashes can also cause tensions to escalate, leading to friction.

14. Unmet expectations

why don't my boyfriend's parents like me

People sometimes have preconceived expectations of other people before they meet them.

If they eventually meet that person and don’t meet their expectations, they may feel disappointed.

Your boyfriend’s parents may see you as below their expectations for a partner for their son.

15. Financial concerns

Financial concerns are sometimes the reason parents express reservations about their child’s partner.

Maybe they’re concerned about you and your boyfriend’s financial stability or responsibility.

If your boyfriend is financially stable and you’re not, they may be worried that your financial responsibilities may weigh him down.

The reverse may also be the case.

Because people and situations differ, I may not be able to tell you the exact reason for the ill feelings in your case.



The reasons above are not exhaustive but can help give you perspective and help you try to discern the situation in your case.

Depending on the reason for their dislike, the issue may be resolvable or not.

If the issue is minimal, things can change with time and respectful communication.

But if the reasons for their dislike are more deeply seated, it may be difficult to resolve it.

Speaking with your boyfriend about it can help, but ultimately, you can’t really make anyone like you.

You can only be your best self and show respect and love.

And if it is not welcome, you will have to decide if you can keep dealing with that or not.

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