Control is part of what makes us human; it is a part of our nature.
However, in romantic relationships, some people tend to be extra with their controlling nature.
They make all the decisions in the relationship, therefore denying their partner the chance to have an identity and a voice in the same relationship.
Are you in a relationship?
Do you feel that your boyfriend loves you so much?
Are you wondering if he wants to control you or is already controlling you?
This article is a guide that throws more light on the signs he wants to control you.
It’ll help you see beyond the affection and care they shower on you.
9 Obvious Signs He Wants To Control You
As you spend more time with your boyfriend, you need to look closely at him if you’re looking for signs he wants to control you.
There is a high chance that he has been controlling and manipulating you for a very long time without your knowledge.
He’ll be willing to make amends if he’s a good person.
A prominent red flag, however, is if he’s not willing to change.
At that point, you need to either seek external help or call it quits with the relationship.
Let’s look at some of the signs he wants to control you>
1. He Wants To Know Everything That’s Going On With You
One of the obvious signs he wants to control you is if he’s too interested in knowing everything that’s going on with you.
He’ll want access to your bank accounts, social media accounts, and every other personal detail that you have.
On the flip side, he may not mind giving you access to his details just because he wants you to do the same.
Worse, if you omit some information and he later finds out, he’ll refuse to understand and throw silly tantrums.
2. He Monitors You Like A Spy
One thing about controlling people is they refuse to realize that, sometimes, their partners deserve some freedom and privacy.
A man who wants to control you will always be looking for an opportunity to check up on you.
He might pretend that he’s just checking in with a call or text, but the truth is that he’s just snooping to see what you’re up to.
He always wants to know where you are and what you’re doing, and that kind of behavior can make anyone feel suffocated.
3. He Wants To Cut You Off From Other People
If you’re wondering about the possible signs he wants to control you, has he ever attempted to cut you off from other people?
If your answer is yes, know that you’re dealing with someone who wants to control you.
Whenever they notice you’re getting close to someone or some people, they’ll come up with a million and one reasons why you need to end the relationship.
Controlling you is easier when they succeed in isolating you from everyone around you.
It’s even worse if he tries to isolate you from your family and close friends.
He doesn’t want to acknowledge that you need to maintain some relationships of your choice.
4. You Can’t Do Any Important Thing Without Him In The Picture
A man who wants to control you will not be happy when you achieve a huge feat without him in the picture.
Whenever you’re asked about the source of inspiration surrounding your success stories, he wants to be the one you mention.
For this reason, he wants to be involved in whatever you do so that he gets all the credits.
5. He Exploits You
Someone who wants to control you will be exploitative because he wants you to always dance to his tunes.
Some things should be natural in a relationship, but not the use of different strategies and tactics to get you to do what he wants.
He manipulates you constantly because he doesn’t ever want to be at your mercy, and he doesn’t ever want to be feeling vulnerable around you.
6. He Finds A Way To Always Put You Down
If he wants to control you, he won’t be happy whenever you’re not depending on him.
So, he’ll stop at nothing to make you feel less of yourself and depend on him for virtually everything you need.
He’ll also poke holes in your activities and offer to help you correct your mistakes.
While you may think he’s doing all these to make you a better person, he only wants you to lose your self-confidence and depend on him for validation before going ahead with anything.
If he’s left unchecked for a long time, you’ll find out that you have low self-esteem.
7. He’s Perfect At Guilt-tripping You
A partner who wants to control you will try to guilt-trip you into doing their bidding.
For example, they’ll throw tantrums and remind you of how your refusal to bend to their wishes negatively affected them if you refuse to do as they say.
The next time something like that wants to happen, they’ll remind you of past occurrences, and you’ll end up doing their bidding against your wish.
8. It Tries To Make decisions for You
A man who wants to control you will also control your decisions.
He will do this by making decisions for you or try to influence your decisions in a way that aligns with his own desires or goals.
This is simply an unhealthy power dynamic in a relationship, and control is about power.
Everyone needs to have autonomy in their lives, and no one should feel like they are being controlled or manipulated by another person.
9. He Controls Your Appearance
Everyone has the right to make their own decisions about their appearance and to present themselves in a way that feels authentic and comfortable to them.
A man who wants to control you may also try to control your appearance either by telling you what and what not to wear or criticizing or belittling your appearance so you can change and look the way he wants you to.
How To Deal With Someone Who Wants To Control You
Handling someone who wants to control you is not a walk in the park.
However, you can choose to see it from the bright side — as a growth and learning curve for you.
Having looked at some of the signs he wants to control you, let’s look at some of the ways to handle a partner who wants to control you.
1. Take Responsibility For Your Life
One of the most likely reasons why a guy will want to control you is because you have not taken responsibility for your life.
You depend on him to make important life decisions for you.
Why won’t he want to leverage that to manipulate you and control you?
Now that you realize that you’ve been an easy target for him all along, now is the time to woman up and take full charge of your life.
Fight the fear that may arise within you when you need to take a giant step.
Take a big breath and take a step.
It’s your life anyway and most of the time, you are the direct recipient of the results of whatever decisions you took.
2. Learn How To Be A Go-Getter
Now that you’ve known some of the signs he wants to control you, it’s high time you learned how to be assertive.
Stand your ground without any fear of the consequences the next time he wants to force you to accept his decision over your life.
3. Set Boundaries In Your Relationship
Someone who wants to control you will succeed easily if you’re in a relationship where there are no set boundaries.
The worst part is that he will have boundaries you must never cross.
You must set healthy boundaries outlining your values and rules to keep manipulation and excessive control away.
A great way to start is by understanding yourself and what makes you happy and don’t let him take it away from you.
If he doesn’t change his behavior still, you should reconsider the relationship before you walk into hell.