Are you asking yourself, “Why is my ex checking up on me”?
If they’ve checked up on you through any means, be it through phone calls, social media accounts, or text messages, several reasons may be behind their actions.
The most common of these reasons include the boring feeling of missing someone, loneliness, nostalgia, a desire for an ego boost, curiosity, jealousy, a craving to be intimate, guilt, a yearning for friendship, and anger.
We’ll be looking at these reasons below and, in addition, explain why you shouldn’t be worried that your ex is checking up on you and talk about what you can do when your ex is checking up on you.
Why Is My Ex Checking Up On Me?: 10 Common Reasons
1. They miss you
Although this is the most obvious reason why your ex will be checking up on you, it is worth talking about.
It’s most likely that your ex is checking up on you because they miss you and probably want to reconnect with you.
They have to miss you before they think of getting back with you.
But sometimes, they’ll miss you and still want to have nothing to do with you.
So, don’t be faster than your shadow when they check up on you and say they miss you.
Let them take the lead, and then, you’ll know the best way to respond.
2. They are lonely
One of the most challenging aspects after a breakup is the loneliness that ensues.
While some people are not so affected by the loneliness that comes with a breakup, most people suffer greatly from it.
It’s tough to go from being in an intimate relationship to being single and alone.
If your ex is checking up on you, they’re likely dealing with a fair share of loneliness as a result of your breakup.
3. They are nostalgic
Another reason why your ex is checking up on you is nostalgia.
Perhaps, they were reminiscing on the good memories you shared – the feeling of having someone who cares deeply about them in their life, the banters, the peals of laughter, and the fun dates.
As the thought of one memory led to the thought of yet a better memory, their minds were filled with amazing memories of the time spent with you.
The pressure from the memories got the better of them, and they reached out to check up on you.
4. They want to boost their ego
Your ex checks up on you sometimes just for the sole purpose of getting your validation that you still care about them even if you’re not together any longer.
They reach out to you because they only need you to make them feel better about themselves – to feel like they matter, are lovable, and are worthy enough.
It can also be they want to clear their image, especially if they know deep down that they’ve not been good partners.
5. Your ex is curious
There’s a high chance that your ex is still curious about you, and it doesn’t matter whether or not the relationship ended on bad terms or whether or not they accepted the breakup in good fate and moved on.
They might be wondering if your life is in order if you have it all figured out, how you’re taking the breakup, and most especially, your current relationship status.
If they’re interested in getting back together with you, they’ll likely use the answers to these questions to measure your level of attractiveness and decide firmly on the next move to make while checking up on you.
6. They are jealous
Jealousy is an emotion that is sometimes resident in an ex who wants a reconciliation.
Perhaps they see you living your best life and carrying on like they never existed.
So, there’s a high possibility that jealousy is the force behind your ex’s checking up on you if your life appears perfect on the outside and it looks like you’re having a blast.
This is also very true if your ex isn’t doing well like you after your breakup.
7. They want to sleep with you
This is most especially true if you’re a lady and your ex is a guy.
Don’t get me wrong.
There’s nothing wrong with it if it’s consensual.
But I’ll advise you to apply wisdom when dealing with this type of guy.
While you may want to get back with your ex, you need to stay away from them if all they want to do is sleep with you.
Your self-respect should be more than that.
8. They feel guilty
Your ex may be checking up on you because they feel guilty about the way they treated you in the relationship.
Was your ex a terrible person when you guys were together romantically?
Maybe a cheat, an abuser, a liar, or all three?
It can be that they’re very ashamed of their behavior that rather than talk about their shortcomings, take responsibility, and at least ask for your forgiveness, they choose to check up on you instead, probably to get your forgiveness and to show interest in you.
In this context, your ex checking up on you is a huge red flag, and I’ll advise you to thread with caution.
9. Your ex wants to remain friends with you
While this is a rare occurrence, especially if the breakup is still recent, it’s possible.
If your ex is checking up on you because they want to remain friends with you, I’ll advise you to turn down the offer.
Being friends with them is not a guarantee that they’ll get back with you.
Rather, it’ll make the relationship between both of you more complicated.
10. They are angry
When your ex checks up on you, and they’re feisty, bitter, or intense, they’re likely angry that they no longer get your attention.
And it’s good that your ex is angry about being starved of your attention because it means that they’re yet to be over you.
However, if they start being passive-aggressive, condemning, blaming, or insulting you, throw your goody two shoes out of the window and block them from reaching you.
What I mean is that you should put them in their place.
What To Do When Your Ex Is Checking Up On You
Your ex still likes you to some extent if they’re checking up on you.
It’s rare for an ex to check up on you to manipulate or control you.
Even at that, the way you respond to them will be determined by how they treated you when both of you were together.
So, here are some things you can do if your ex is checking up on you:
Oblige them and go for a meeting.
Act politely but give them firm responses.
Do not have unreasonable expectations of them.
If you decide to be friends or become a romantic pair again, I’ll advise you to take things slow to avoid any further regrets.
Finally, if you feel that you can’t get past the past and don’t want to have anything to do with your ex anymore, it’s best to shift your focus to moving forward with your life.