“My boyfriend gets angry when I talk about his ex!”
If this sounds like you, I understand your frustration.
More often than not, at the end of a love relationship, one or both parties are left hurt or upset.
However, it is expected that after some time, they both move on and feel little or no ill feelings toward each other, especially if they have met and fallen in love with other people.
Therefore, it is safe to say that if your boyfriend gets angry when you talk about his ex, there is cause for concern.
A relationship should be a safe place to converse, and no topic or person should be off bounds when it comes to having a healthy conversation with your partner.
Sadly, this doesn’t seem to be the case sometimes, as some people find their partners responding angrily when they talk about certain topics or people.
Worrying that your boyfriend gets angry when you talk about someone is a valid concern, especially if the person in question is his ex.
So what are some possible reasons why your boyfriend gets angry when you talk about his ex?
“My Boyfriend Gets Angry When I Talk About His Ex!”: Here’s Why
He has not gotten over the relationship
Not all relationships end on a good note.
Sometimes people leave relationships hurt and with wounds that take a long time to heal.
Your boyfriend may not be over the negative effects of his previous relationship with his ex and may just be trying to suppress the feelings and continue life with you.
You talking about his ex or mentioning her name will make this difficult for him, and anger may be his default response to you when this happens.
It’s not unusual for him to still be uncomfortable about his past.
He might have some form of PTSD, and you may be opening fresh wounds that he’d rather remain closed.
He is still in love with her
If your boyfriend gets angry when you mention his ex’s name or comment about his closeness to her, there may be a serious issue at play here.
You need to pay close attention if it gets to the point of him yelling at you and threatening to leave you.
Maybe he is indirectly communicating his desire to go back to his ex.
If this is the situation, he’s likely to be on the defensive and respond in anger if and when you mention his ex.
He is hiding something from you
As mentioned earlier, nothing should be off-bounds for discussion in a healthy relationship.
Especially when it has to do with your individual personal lives.
There should be transparency and openness about even the minute things.
Thus, if your boyfriend gets angry when you ask questions about his ex and is unwilling to respond to you, there may be something he doesn’t want you to know.
You’re obsessed with his ex
The problem could be from you.
Do you ask/talk about your boyfriend’s ex too many times that it is getting uncomfortable for him, and he has to resort to responding in anger?
It is important that after you have considered the possible reasons for his anger from his end, you consider it from your end as well.
If your boyfriend notices that you keep obsessing over his ex by asking numerous questions and bringing up her name all the time, he may find it weird or interpret it to mean that you suspect him of something or that you do not trust him.
This can lead to an angry response.
“My Boyfriend Gets Angry When I Talk About His Ex!”
Here are a few things you can do:
Talk about it
One of the characteristics of a healthy relationship is unrestrained communication.
Just like you’d bring up any other issue of concern you have noticed with your partner, bring this up in the same way.
Pick the right time and place to talk, and simply ask your boyfriend why he gets angry when you talk about his ex and how it makes you feel.
This may be the only key you need to lead you to the root of things and help you resolve them.
You may never know why your boyfriend gets angry when you talk about his ex if you do not talk about it.
Women tend to be more observant than men and can easily detect funny moves.
Maybe it’s time to step back and observe everything around you.
What is your boyfriend’s current relationship with his ex like?
Do they talk?
Are they close?
Are old flames being resurrected?
Is he just hurt and doesn’t want to hear anything about her anymore?
With keen observance, you might just find the answer to why your boyfriend gets angry when you talk about his ex.
Try to see from his perspective
Relationships are all about having each other’s back and believing the best of each other.
You should not just give up on your boyfriend because he gets angry at the mention of his ex; you can try to see things from his perspective.
People are different and handle situations differently.
Sometimes, the negative effects of a previous relationship on some individuals are severe and leave them bitter even after months and years have passed.
Not to mention the fact that some relationships end without proper closure leaving one or both parties resentful.
Be patient with him.
He may just be going through a phase that will end soon and needs your support.
Stop bringing up his ex unnecessarily
If it’s not necessary, don’t talk about his ex.
You shouldn’t be obsessed with his ex if he doesn’t show signs that he loves his ex more than you.
Focus on your relationship and let his past remain where it belongs—in the past.
Let sleeping dogs lie.
Make an informed decision
From your observation, with time, you should be able to detect what exactly is going on and know if your boyfriend is just hurt and wants that chapter of his life closed or if it’s beyond that.
It is important that you prioritize your happiness in all of this and not remain in a situation that’s toxic for you.
Decide if it is a temporary situation that your boyfriend is willing to work with you on and fix or if it’s time for you to move on.