”My husband gropes me constantly and I hate it.”
Being married usually means a couple has the liberty to show physical affection to each other anytime or anyhow they want.
But what if one spouse doesn’t feel comfortable with constant touching and groping?
Maybe at first, this touching was erotic and you enjoyed it.
You may have even initiated it.
But as time went on, you have become uncomfortable with the sexual nature of your man’s touches.
It seems like he is not getting the message that you don’t like being touched so much, or that groping is not an intimate act to you anymore.
Groping is simply when your husband touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable.
It can be as simple as touching the back of your neck, or it can be more explicit, like touching your breasts or genitals.
So, it’s not just a case of an innocent pat on the back or a quick peck on the cheek.
”My Husband Gropes Me Constantly And I Hate It”
1. Why Do You Hate It?
When your husband gropes you constantly and you hate it, ask yourself why you hate it.
Is it because you feel violated?
Is it because you feel disrespected?
Or is it because you simply don’t enjoy being touched in that way?
There’s no right or wrong answer, but identifying your reason for hating it can help you to communicate your feelings to your husband.
If you can explain to him why his actions make you feel uncomfortable, he may be more likely to stop.
2. How Often is Constantly?
How often is he doing it?
Is it every day?
Or only when you’re in bed together?
Once you’ve pinpointed how often he’s groping you, you’ll be able to assess his behavior objectively, and also be clear on how much touching is too much for you.
3. Find Out Why He’s Doing It
It’s not enough to find out why you hate it, you should also find out why your husband feels the need to grope you more than you like.
Is he trying to be playful?
Maybe he’s trying to get your attention and he knows that this is a way to get you to focus on him.
It could also be that he’s feeling sexually frustrated and he’s hoping that by groping you, he’ll be able to get you aroused and lead to sex.
Or, it could be that he’s just generally disrespectful and sees you as nothing more than an object for his own pleasure.
Find out why he’s doing it so that you can address the issue.
If he’s just seeking attention, try to give him more of your time and focus.
If he’s sexually frustrated, talk to him about his needs and see if there are other ways that you can satisfy each other.
And if he’s being disrespectful, let him know that this is unacceptable behavior and make it clear that it won’t be tolerated.
4. Are There Times You Don’t Hate It?
If your husband is constantly groping you and you hate it, ask yourself whether there are any times when you don’t hate it.
It’s possible that there are some situations in which you feel more comfortable with his touch, or even enjoy it.
For example, maybe you don’t mind when he gropes you during lovemaking, but you hate it when he does it in public.
Or perhaps you’re okay with him touching you affectionately, but you hate it when he gets too handsy.
By identifying the times when you don’t mind his touch, you can start to figure out what makes those moments different from the times when you do hate it.
Once you know what your triggers are, you’ll be able to communicate them to your husband and find a way to make his touch more tolerable for you.
5. Talk To Him
Tell him gently that you don’t enjoy being groped, and when it feels like he’s asking for sex out of the blue, or at least without warning, it’s not a turn-on.
Let him know that no matter what the situation or reason is, it makes you uncomfortable because it makes it hard to keep boundaries between intimate acts.
Don’t forget to use “I” statements, such as “I feel disrespected when you touch me without permission.”
This will help your husband avoid feeling attacked and allow him to think about his actions instead of feeling defensive.
6. Be Prepared For a Backlash From Him
Be prepared for a backlash from him when you talk to him.
He may try to convince you that you’re “overreacting” or that his behavior is “no big deal.”
He may even become aggressive.
If you try to talk to him about it, he may not listen or understand why you’re upset.
It’s important to be prepared for this reaction so that you can stay calm and assertive.
Remember, this is not your fault and you have a right to feel safe in your own body.
7. Introduce Consequences
If he continues to grope you after being asked not to, then set up some kind of consequence for when he does so again.
You don’t have to punish him or yell at him; just tell him that whenever he does this thing again, then you will leave the room for a few minutes or go do something else until he stops doing it again or whatever consequences you feel would work on him.
You know your husband best.
8. Seek Counseling or Therapy Together to Help Address The Problem
No one deserves to be made to feel uncomfortable in their own home.
If your husband is constantly groping you and you hate it, seek help.
You can talk to a friend or family member who can provide support and advice, especially one who can advise him.
If you’re feeling particularly stressed, seek professional counseling together.
If your husband is unwilling to participate in counseling, then you may need to seek individual therapy to address the issue.
Taking action will help you to regain control of your life and feel better about yourself.