We all want to believe we have found the right person for us.
After all, what could be more satisfying than knowing you have found your true love?
Someone you can spend all of your time with while continuing to grow as individuals at the same time.
Someone who will always be there for you, no matter what.
You’re all googly-eyed and lovey-dovey—you think he’s “The One.”
But how do you know for sure?
Shouldn’t there be some signs from God that he is the one you are meant to marry?
While there may not be an actual neon highway sign with flashing arrows pointing to your future husband, the Bible does tell us how to recognize the right man for us.
So, if a man is showing these signs, then it might be time to reevaluate the relationship because they are signs he is not the one from God.
14 Signs He Is Not The One From God
1. He is not a believer
Some would argue that this point isn’t necessarily true.
I am not saying you can’t be a Christian and marry someone that isn’t a Christian, but I am saying it is a huge risk.
Why?
Because when two people come together in marriage they are becoming one flesh in every area of their lives – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc.
If you are a believer and your spouse is an unbeliever then you will have major issues in all of these areas.
For example, if your spouse doesn’t believe in God’s Word, then they will not agree with the way He has instructed us to live our lives by His Word.
They will have no desire to pray or read the word; they will not desire to worship God or any activity related to Him.
They will not share the same values and beliefs as you (even if they say they do).
They do not share the same understanding about who Jesus Christ is and what He did for us on the cross.
They do not share the same beliefs about salvation and forgiveness etc.
If he does not have a relationship with God, he is an unbeliever and is not the one from God.
He may say he does but if his actions do not match his words then he probably has no real relationship with God.
True believers in Christ will seek to follow His ways and will show the fruit of the spirit in their lives (Galatians 5:22-23).
This doesn’t mean there are no Christians who have a happy marriage with non-Christians, but you are reading this article because you want to know if he is the one from God to you.
God will not contradict his Word which says we shouldn’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
Don’t even think you can convert him.
You are not the Holy Spirit.
2. He doesn’t display the fruit of the spirit in his life
The Bible says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23).
If your guy doesn’t have these qualities or working towards having them in his life, then he’s not a man after God’s own heart.
If he’s not a man after God’s own heart then he’s not your guy.
The man God has for you will be the one who displays these qualities in his life because they’re part of his nature.
3. He doesn’t share your values and beliefs
No matter how much you like a person, if their values are different from yours it’s just not going to work out.
This is why it’s so important to know who you are and what you believe before you get into a relationship.
A lot of single people don’t know what they believe and they look at their significant other as someone to answer all their questions about faith.
But if your partner isn’t on the same page as you when it comes to matters of faith, he’ll never be the one from God to you.
4. He doesn’t want to commit to you
In today’s age, many guys don’t want to settle down and marry.
To them, marriage is just another human contract that can easily be broken.
He may talk about marriage and children but does not want to make any firm commitments.
A man who loves you and is led by God will want a commitment between the two of you.
He will want to make a covenant with you that lasts for life.
5. He doesn’t respect your beliefs or values
If a guy can’t respect your faith in Christ, then he doesn’t respect you as an individual.
A man should never mock your beliefs, even if he doesn’t share them himself. If he does mock then it means he sees our faith as a joke and that is very disrespectful indeed. This is especially true if he openly laughs at God in your presence.
6. He is a slave to addictions
Addictions can be to drugs, alcohol, gambling, pornography, and any other unhealthy activity that controls a person’s life.
Addiction is an extreme form of idolatry.
It is the worship of a false god, which takes precedence over the worship of the true God.
Addictions destroy relationships.
They are like cancer that will eat away at everything good and healthy in your life.
The Lord does not want us to be unequally yoked.
We are to marry someone who is just like us.
The same religion, the same beliefs, and the same morals.
It is a scary thing to marry an addict because they are unpredictable and they can be violent at times.
They can also make you sick with their behavior and cause you great stress.
Many people assume that addiction is only a problem when it comes to drugs or alcohol.
But addictions can involve anything, from gambling to pornography to food.
The difference between an issue and an addiction is that an addict cannot control their behavior.
If your future husband can’t put down his phone, even for a date with you, he may be addicted to social media, video games, or something else.
He may not even be aware of this behavior because it’s so common in our culture.
But keep in mind that if he can’t stop these behaviors long enough to focus on you now, he won’t be able to stop them once he’s married either.
What will happen then? You don’t want to find out!
If your boyfriend is living in the bondage of addiction and refuses to seek help, then he is not ready for marriage and he is not the one God has for you.
7. He is sexually inappropriate towards you
This is one of the huge signs he is not the one from God.
If a guy can’t keep his hands off you and is always ready to go at it, something is wrong.
I know you may be thinking, “but didn’t you say sex is a good thing in marriage?”
Yes, it’s good within the confines of marriage.
However, if he’s always trying to have s*x with you before marriage, this could be an indication he doesn’t respect you or isn’t interested in getting to know you on a deeper level.
He may just be using you for s*x.
This happens more often than not these days with guys.
They will push for s*x as soon as they feel they can.
If you feel uncomfortable around your guy or notice that he seems focused on your body instead of who you are inside, this could be a sign he is not the one from God.
8. He tries to convince you to do things that go against your values and beliefs
Someone who is from God will never try to convince you to do things that go against your values and beliefs (e.g., lie, cheat, steal).
They will never make you feel bad or guilty for being yourself.
They won’t ask you to change who you are or what you believe in just because it doesn’t suit them.
9. He doesn’t have any Christian friends
This can be a sign that he is lukewarm in his faith or just immature spiritually or both.
There is an adage that says, “Show me your friends, and I will show you your future.”
I believe it.
Your friends can help you get to where you want to go in life, or they can hinder you from reaching your God-given potential.
The Bible says, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character”’ (1 Corinthians 15:33).
Those who are wise will choose their friends wisely.
The Bible says, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20).
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
If a man’s friends don’t seem to have any moral standards and aren’t pursuing God with their lives, then he probably won’t either.
And if he is hanging out with unsaved pals all the time instead of spending time going to church and serving God with fellow brothers in Christ, then he may not be at a place spiritually where he is ready for marriage.
You want a man who has strong Christian friendships because these men will help him walk out his faith in difficult times and will call him higher when he needs to be challenged in his faith and life as well.
Don’t settle for less!
10. He has a wandering eye
If he cannot respect you with his eyes, how can you expect him to respect you in every other area of life?
If a guy has this problem, it is likely that he also has a heart problem.
His heart is not satisfied with you; he always wants more.
He does not see the value of what he has, and so he is constantly seeking something new.
If a man respects you and sees your value, he will keep his eyes only for you.
This is because he sees that you are valuable and worth keeping all to himself.
11. He has no goals or direction for the future
In today’s economy, everyone must have a plan for their life.
If he is content with living paycheck to paycheck and has no ambition to do better.
If he hates his job and is constantly complaining about it.
If he has no interest in advancing his career or taking on any challenges that might be difficult but could lead to greater blessings, he will only frustrate your life.
And God doesn’t want you to be frustrated.
So, he is not the one from God.
12. You don’t feel at peace when you pray about him
If you have nagging doubts that he’s not the one, then it’s probably true.
The Holy Spirit is not a God of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33), so if you are confused about your relationship, then the Holy Spirit is not guiding you.
God knows our hearts and He will give us peace when we make decisions in line with His plan for our lives.
If you don’t feel at peace, then it may be an indication that something is not right.
Peace also means we know God’s will and choose to follow it.
So if you are feeling restless about your relationship, then it may be a sign that this decision is not according to God’s will for your life.
13. Your parents or other Christian adults do not see him as a good match
If your parents or other spiritual mentors in your life warn you not to get serious with the guy you are dating, listen to them.
If they are mature Christians with wisdom and experience, they will usually be able to see more clearly than you can, especially when your emotions are involved.
They may not be able to pinpoint exactly why he is not the one for you, but if they have a feeling in their spirit, it may be worth considering why.
Some people will say that you should ignore them because you’re an adult now, but if your parents have proven themselves to be godly people, I believe it would be foolish for you not to seek their advice and counsel on such an important matter as finding a mate.
After all, these are the same people who raised you and trained you to follow Christ.
You can also ask your friends what they genuinely think about your boyfriend.
They are not blinded by emotions like you, so their responses will be helpful to you.
14. He makes fun of you, instead of with you
While it’s true that couples should have fun together and be able to poke a little fun at one another from time to time, this type of teasing should not be humiliating or uncomfortable for either partner.
If he makes you feel bad about who you are or insults your accomplishments and interests, then he is not from God.
A man who is the one for you will support your dreams and aspirations instead of belittling you or feel intimidated by you.
If you have prayed about your relationship, and if you truly believe that your relationship is from the Lord, then pray for God’s peace.
Pray that He will give you peace about the relationship — regardless of whether or not it works out.
If God gives you peace about who you are dating, trust that peace.
If God gives you no peace about it, trust that too.
Don’t ignore the signs that are right in front of your face.
Once again — if the person is right for you, then God’s peace will trump any worry or fear.
