Whenever the question, “does body count matter?” arises, the first people who come to mind are women.
The awareness for gender equality and women’s liberation is so loud these days and has constantly pushed to the forefront the fact that women own their bodies and can do whatever they want with them.
Despite all the noise about this, a lot of women are still struggling due to so many societal factors.
For example, at the early stage of a relationship, it’s not unusual for men to ask for the body counts of the women they are in a relationship with.
And all in the name of love, these women are usually manipulated to come clean about the number of men they have been with sexually in the past.
A lot of people have lost their partners for speaking the truth about this issue as a result of their naivety, rather, unfortunately.
I think the issue of revealing body counts should be a personal and voluntary resolve.
No one has to be coerced, manipulated, or threatened into making the revelation.
If a woman prefers not to talk about it, it is totally fine and she should be left alone.
Our sexual past does not determine our personality, to a great extent.
Many women are yet to own their sexuality, no matter how loud the campaign for feminism and gender equality gets.
I am speaking for a lot of women out there.
So, there are some of us for whom the stigma surrounding sex and sex-related issues will never go away.
And we will still go through the stress of dealing with men who like to learn about our past sexual experiences.
They see it as their right and they do not hesitate to ask a woman about the number of sexual partners they have had in the past.
Based on the answer they get, they go ahead to judge if the woman is a good material or not.
Do you know the annoying part of it all?
The amount of women these men have slept with doesn’t matter to them at all.
Why is it always female-inclined whenever the question, “does body count matter?” pops up?
Does Body Count Matter?
Men Are Not Estimated As Women Are
And there is no excuse for this but patriarchy.
How appalling is it that while the sexual activeness of the male gender is hailed as the way to go, the women are looked at in disgust and spite for trying to be even half as adventurous and exploring sexually as men?
You want my personal opinion on the question, “does body count matter?”
Generally, I think that body count does not matter in a relationship.
I also think that women should stop going about running their mouths about their body counts when asked.
They should remain mute whenever the topic is brought up.
A lot of men are not ready for the truth and will likely throw tantrums when they’re faced with the truth.
So, why honor them with a reply when you can easily be mute?
Having a “truthful” conversation about your body count with your partner is a lose-lose situation.
There’s no way you can win, and that’s the bitter truth.
Tell the truth and your partner will most probably not believe you.
They’ll think you brought the number down to appeal to their conscience.
Besides that, depending on the number you give, they might view you as either inexperienced or too loose.
Do you see now, why you should keep quiet as a woman?
Also, the sexual escapades of a woman who a man is really in love with matters to him, no matter how liberal he might sound and claim to be.
Let the issue of body count be off-limits in your conversations.
I believe that the sexual past experiences of your partner do not matter.
Well, except if the body count is connected with a present medical condition.
Even in the face of such situations, your partner is not medical personnel.
If you ask me, your gynecologist or doctor who needs that information for your medical history is the only person you should talk to about this.
Trust me, sis, you’ll be so judged by that baby boo of yours when he knows too much about you.
So, keep shut.
Listen to me and listen very attentively – even if you have been with just three men and your partner has been with at least twenty women, your three men are seen as too many.
On the contrary, he won’t be judged the same way as you because he was raised with the mindset that he is entitled to as many women as possible while you’re meant to remain a virgin till you get married.
Sadly, as they say, it’s a man’s world and there’s nothing you can do about it.
No matter how honest you are about your previous relationships, you’ll always be judged by people and they are bound to make wrong assumptions about you.
Quit Being Naive
And I’m not even going to start telling you which body count is either too high or too low.
For example, while some people think that three is too much, others think that you’re inexperienced.
I’m not going down that road with you because everyone has different opinions about these things.
We all didn’t come into this life with the same guidelines.
The Issue Of Body Count Doesn’t Add Any Value To Relationships
An important question we’ve all been neglecting is if fickle issues such as body count add any value to a relationship.
The answer is no.
It’s sad that nowadays, these kinds of questions have become necessary in a lot of relationships because of the belief that the quality of a woman’s personality is overridden by the number of men she has slept with.
This makes so many women tell countless lies in a bid to hide their past and reduce their actual body counts.
Yardstick For Morality In Women
I think that since people think that virgins are hard to come by these days, this is the trending yardstick for measuring morality.
Men found a way of telling women to keep their legs closed by being particular about body counts.
These things only matter in a society that’s heavily laced with patriarchy.
And it’s our reality.
We live in a society where women who sleep with more than one man are considered to be promiscuous and abstaining from sex or not being sexually active gives them off as Miss goody two shoes.
On the other hand, men who sleep with as many women as possible are applauded and encouraged with a pat on the back whereas the ones who stick to one woman are seen as backward.
Never in the history of the world has a man been shamed with the number of women he has slept with.
It is always women who are at the receiving end of being slut-shamed.
I think it’s high time women stopped tolerating this nonsense and quit wasting their time on immature men.
Whenever the question, “does body count matter?” comes up, remember that it is nobody’s business, the number of men a woman has slept with.
Men who insist that this is an important factor in their relationship should be treated as unserious.
A real man is more concerned about the kind of woman he is about to get into a relationship with, rather than the number of men she has been with.
This article boils down to a demand for equality and fairness for both genders.
No gender is better than or superior to the other.
Besides that, it’s only men with low self-esteem who are worried about the body count of their women.
The body count of any adult woman is the business of nobody.
If a man is hell-bent on knowing your body count, you should be suspicious and ask why it matters so much to him.
Your body count should matter only to you.
Wednesday 22nd of September 2021
I am very feminist in the way I see the world, and I agree, it is a man's world because just like virginity it is always geared toward women. Men never are held to the same standard. But it doesn't make sense because who are those men sleeping with isnt it other women? Anyway, these double standards obviously don't make sense. Thanks for your blog.
Wednesday 22nd of September 2021
Right!!! The double standard is sickening. Thanks for stopping by.
Jumoke Olufunmilayo Ekundayo
Friday 20th of August 2021
So on point! Well done, sis 👏🏽
Saturday 21st of August 2021
Thank you for always!