Marriage is sweet and can add so much value to your life, especially when you marry the love of your life.
I’ve been married for over six years, and I can tell you that as sweet as marriage could be, it’s not always smooth sailing.
Sometimes, the person sailing with you, your DH, might not be as thrilled as he once was.
So how can you tell if your husband is not happy in your marriage?
I know that people are different, and what applies to one person might not apply to another.
But then, we humans are more alike than we are different.
Here are a few signs to look out for that could indicate your husband is not happy in your marriage.
7 Signs Your Husband Is Not Happy in Your Marriage
1. The Talk Has Slowed Down
Some hours ago, my husband, while at work, sent a message to me to tell me has a ”gist” for me.
This was someone who left home just two hours earlier.
The “gist” was, of course, a conversation we didn’t finish last night.
It’s our habit to keep in touch even when we are apart.
Sometimes, we send links to inspirational and funny videos to each other.
I mean, communication is literally the most vital part of a marriage.
And I don’t mean talking about serious stuff only.
Even the less serious conversations count, and they go a long way in keeping the connection, intimacy, and bond alive.
So, if your husband has gone from talking to you all day every day to barely uttering a word, it could be a sign he is not happy in the marriage.
He probably doesn’t find joy in communicating with you like he used to.
2. He Is Easily Irritable
We all have our good days and bad days; that’s life.
But if your husband seems to be easily agitated by little things lately, it could be a sign he is not happy.
A man who is content in his marriage will usually have a high tolerance level towards his wife and her quirks.
But when that level drops significantly, something is surely amiss.
He may even start picking fights over trivial matters just to have a reason to lash out.
This could be his way of expressing his inner dissatisfaction with your marriage.
3. He Doesn’t Show Interest in Your Life
Marriage is a partnership, and part of that partnership involves being interested and involved in each other’s lives.
If your husband no longer seems to care about what you’re up to or how your day went, it could be a sign he is not happy.
He doesn’t care whether you go to work or not.
He doesn’t care where you go, who you meet, or what you do.
Whatever change you make around the house is not his business.
It’s as if he has mentally checked out of the marriage, and that’s not the attitude of a happily married man.
4. Your Marriage Is Becoming Sexless
Intimacy is a crucial component of a thriving marriage.
I’m talking about the kind of intimacy that ties you two together in a unique bond that’s special just to the two of you.
Often, this intimacy is expressed through sex.
I don’t mean to say that sex is the only barometer for a happy marriage, but it’s a huge, huge aspect.
If your once passionate nights are now replaced by cold and distant evenings, then there’s a problem.
You know, even when couples are fighting sometimes, they still make up in bed.
But if your husband is feeling so indifferent to you that he’s no longer interested in having sex with you, there has to be something more going on.
It’s very normal for the frequency of sex to ebb and flow in a marriage due to stress, health, or age.
But, if none of these applies to you and your husband shows no interest in having intimate moments with you.
Heck, maybe he has even moved out of the room for you and now sleeps on the couch or in another room.
It’s highly likely that your husband is unhappy in your marriage.
5. He Avoids Spending Time With You
In marriage, being apart is inevitable.
You both have different lives outside of each other, careers, businesses, hobbies, and friends.
I work remotely, and my husband is away at work.
So it’s just me and my computer during the day.
But if your husband has suddenly started finding ways to stay out longer than necessary, avoiding spending time with you, it’s not normal.
He doesn’t mind working late anymore, even though he never used to do that before.
He goes for boys’ nights out more frequently than usual.
Even when he’s home, it’s as if he’s not really there.
Maybe he’s always holed up in his office, workshop or is on the TV or his phone all day.
If he avoids spending time with you, it’s because he doesn’t find joy in your company anymore.
6. He Is Always Picking Fights
Fighting is normal when couples disagree on certain issues.
Even couples who can win the Happiest Couple award fight sometimes.
But, if your husband has picked up a habit of picking fights over everything and nothing, it’s not normal.
He’s always quick to jump on you at the slightest provocation.
Maybe he even says things that are very hurtful with seemingly no thought behind them.
It could be his way of expressing his inner unhappiness without actually saying so.
After all, picking fights creates a distance between two people.
7. He Doesn’t Make an Effort
Remember when you were dating your husband?
He always looked his best, made romantic gestures, and showed how much he cared about impressing you.
But these days, he doesn’t seem to care about making any effort in your marriage.
He doesn’t bother with date nights anymore.
Maybe he doesn’t even shave as often or put on his best outfits when you’re going out.
He doesn’t bother with the little things that used to make you feel special and loved.
It’s not because he has given up in life; it’s because there’s been a shift in how he feels about you and your marriage.
I must emphasize that these signs aren’t necessarily a guarantee that your husband is unhappy in your marriage.
There could be other underlying factors, such as stress, health issues, or personal problems at play.
But no matter what, these aren’t pleasant signs as well.
You can’t have a happy marriage with an unhappy husband; it’s just impossible.
It takes two to tango.
So, these signs are to be taken seriously.
If you’ve noticed a few (or a lot) of these signs, it’s time to talk!
I get it; he’s probably not talking to you much these days, but this time around, he has to talk.
This is a conversation about the health of your marriage.
Initiate the conversation and ask him how he’s feeling about your marriage.
Keep your words honest but non-confrontational.
The goal is to understand, not accuse.
If he cares about you or your marriage, then he has to talk.
He will be open to talking about what’s bothering him, but if he brushes it off or gets defensive, things will get worse.
If you can’t get through to him, consider seeking the help of a therapist or marriage counselor.
If he doesn’t want to go for counseling, maybe he has reached the end of the rope and is ready to move on.
No matter the outcome, prioritize your own happiness and self-worth.
Marriage should enhance your life, not define it.