”Why do guys want to hook up with me but not date me?”
Finding the right partner is not always easy, especially when you’re constantly faced with vast options.
But it’s worse when the guys you keep going out with are only interested in hookups and nothing more.
You might have been played by a guy one time or gotten disappointed by other guys, and now you’re wondering if something is actually wrong with you.
You need to know that there’s nothing wrong with you, but something may be wrong with your strategy.
One thing you need to know also is that you’re not alone.
There are many women struggling with this same issue who have no idea the cause, problem, or solution to the reasons why guys only want to hook up with them.
Well, worry no more.
Here are the top 16 reasons why guys only want to hook up with you:
Why Do Guys Want To Hook Up With Me But Not Date Me?
1. You Give Them What They Want Without Them Putting In Effort.
Sadly, a good number of guys approach ladies with only one intention in mind- sex.
Although, times have changed and we have evolved, the art of making yourself readily accessible to a guy still makes you appear cheap and common.
Sex with a guy you just met gives off the impression that you aren’t ready for anything serious.
Never make yourself too available especially when you’re just getting to know each other.
Some ladies assume always being available, saying yes to every request or agreeing to everything a guy says will automatically make the guy pick interest in them.
But that could not be farther from the truth.
Always being available will only make a playboy more uncommitted.
Even men who are ready for a committed relationship do not want to have anything to do with a lady who can’t seem to have a mind of her own.
Learn not to give your all too soon.
2. You Start Relationships Casually.
Trying to make a relationship serious and committed after starting out casually is hardly ever possible.
If at some point, both of you develop intense feelings for each other, it may work.
However, it is much more difficult when you’re the only one who always develops feelings along the way.
When you start relationships casually, the men are most likely going to assume that the relationship is for sex and play along.
This is why you must be careful how you start the relationship from the beginning.
3. Not Defining The Relationship.
“What do I want from this relationship?” is a question you need to ask yourself before hopping on the train of any relationship.
Choosing to see how it goes before defining the relationship may not turn out well because you may eventually realize that you now have feelings for a guy who wants nothing serious to do with you.
You probably did that because you didn’t want to come off as desperate but now you’re angry because you just discovered that he only wants to hook up with you.
However, the truth is you didn’t make your intentions clear in the first place.
4. The Men Are Emotionally Unavailable.
It may not be anything you’re doing.
The men may just be emotionally unavailable.
You may have seen the red flags but dismissed them.
Now you’re neck deep into a hookup relationship but he won’t commit because he is not emotionally available.
5. You Respond To Their Hookup Messages
You hardly ever get a call or text during the day but once it’s night time, he suddenly remembers you exist, and you readily pick his calls or quickly respond to his messages because you like him.
What that means is that you’re also interested in hooking up with him.
Once men notice that you are available to give them what they want, they no longer see any reason to officially date you.
6. You Enjoy It.
If you search deeply, you may realize that you also enjoy hooking up with men.
Maybe you enjoy the freedom that comes with hooking up but somewhere in your mind, you still want an official relationship.
As long as you remain torn in these two places, you won’t get the serious relationship you desire
7. You Initiate Sex All The Time.
When you always show that you’re interested in sex every time you see them, you are giving the impression that you just want to hookup and are not interested in any commitment to the relationship.
This is a welcome invitation for many men.
8. You Are Not Honest With Him About Wanting More.
Keeping quiet instead of verbally letting him know you want an official committed relationship may be another reason.
You may keep doing this out of the fear of rejection but it will only lead to you being in a kind of relationship that you do not desire.
9. You Have The Wrong Men Around You.
Another possible reason all the men who come to you seem to want to hook up and not date you is that you have the wrong men in your circle.
Men who are not ready for any serious commitment.
This may be due to the places you visit often, where you work, or the kind of people you hang around generally.
If the men in your circle are people who aren’t ready for anything serious, don’t be surprised when they show it to you.
You need to pay attention to the signs they consciously or subconciously give off.
Those signs could be that he’s still healing from a breakup, he wants to focus on his career or he feels too young for any serious commitment.
10. You Act Like You Are Not Ready.
You could also be the one giving off the signs through your behavior or the words you say that show you either haven’t moved on from past relationships, hurt or you just aren’t ready yet.
You might not know this but telling him how busy you are and showing you have no time to spare or saying terrible things about your ex or men in general is a strong turn off to any guy who would want to be in a serious relationship.
11. They Are Not Attracted To You.
Another of the things to put into consideration could be that they haven’t gotten so attached to you yet.
Chances are they might like you but they just aren’t emotionally invested in you.
12. Wide Options.
The system of dating in our world today has created a platform of endless options to choose from across different countries.
With the endless options being opened to us and the need for perfection, many people are no longer interested in sticking to just one person for a long period of time.
13. You Arouse Interest In The Wrong Guys.
This could be in the places you hang out or the way you project yourself.
It could also be that the things that get you interested in guys comes with its own troubles such as being attracted to outgoing guys who love to party and are well known amongst girls.
Chances are, he’ll find it difficult to stay committed.
14. You Do Not Present Yourself Well.
Another reason could be that you do not present yourself in a way that shows that you value and respect yourself.
Placing less value on yourself or presenting yourself as less insignificant are some of the destructive things ladies do to themselves.
Downplaying yourself or your achievements will never be a show of modesty.
It would only end up destroying your image and how people perceive you.
15. The Way You Dress.
One thing that greatly determines how you are perceived is how you dress.
Although many women may not like to admit this but there are dressing styles that portray you as a loose girl who only wants to play.
Maybe the reason men are coming to you only for hookup is because something about how you appear tells them that.
It even determines the kind of men that approach you.
16. You Suck At Setting Boundaries.
When you fail to set boundaries, you leave yourself vulnerable to any and everything.
Allowing people unrestricted access to you and letting them get away with stepping into your personal space is not good for you.
When men see that they are allowed to go any length with you without committing, they eventually see no need to commit.
You need to always remember that whatever the intentions of the guys you hang around with are, you always have the power to set the pace.
Just because most of the guys you hang around with are only interested in hooking up with you doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
Treat yourself right, place value on yourself and it’ll automatically teach them how to treat you.