Ghosted after first date?
You finally score a first date with the Cutie McSingleton you’ve been eyeing for weeks.
You part ways with a hug and plan to see each other again soon.
They don’t text you back, they don’t answer your calls, and they disappear off the face of the earth.
You’ve been ghosted!
What is Ghosting?
Ghosting is when someone you’ve been dating suddenly stops responding to your text messages, answering your calls, and disappears from your life with no warning.
It’s like being dumped without the closure of a breakup conversation.
The problem with ghosting is that it leaves you confused, upset, and maybe guilty and remorseful for something you didn’t do.
But don’t despair!
There are a few things you can do if you find yourself ghosted after first date.
But first, why do people ghost after the first date?
1. They’re not interested in you
Someone may ghost you if they simply aren’t interested in you and don’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you straight out.
2. They’re not ready for a relationship
Maybe they just got out of a long-term relationship and aren’t looking to jump into another one so soon.
So they may ghost you after the first date if you made it clear you’re looking for something serious.
3. They’re scared of commitment
It could be that they’re just looking for a fling and not ready to get attached and settle down.
So they may ghost you after the first date especially if the date ended in the bedroom.
4. They’re not over their ex
Or it could be that they’re still hung up on their ex and aren’t ready to move on.
If they’re still thinking about their ex, they’re not going to be able to give you the attention and commitment you deserve.
5. They’re busy/have a lot going on in their life
It’s also possible that they’re just really busy with work, school, or other life’s demands, and don’t have the time to pursue a relationship.
6. They’re not good at communicating
Some people just aren’t good at communicating their feelings and may have a hard time telling you that they’re not interested. So instead of telling you how they feel, they may just ghost you.
7. They freaked out after realizing how much they like you
It’s also possible that they had a great time with you but freaked out afterward realizing how much they liked you.
So instead of facing their feelings, they may have just ghosted you.
8. They’re not ready to deal with your baggage
If you have any baggage (like kids, exes, pets, etc.), they may not be ready to deal with that just yet.
So they may ghost you after the first date instead of trying to work through it.
9. They met someone else
This is a very common reason why people ghost.
They may have met someone else that they’re interested in and don’t want to string you along.
10. They’re just not that into you
Sometimes, it really is just that simple.
They may have had a good time with you but just aren’t that into you.
Now that you know some of the reasons why people ghost after the first date, what can you do if it happens to you?
Ghosted After First Date: What To Do
1. Don’t take it personally
I know it’s hard not to take it personally but it’s not about you; it’s about them.
If someone doesn’t text back or reply to your messages, they probably don’t want to talk to you anymore—and that’s okay.
It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or your personality; it just means that person isn’t interested in pursuing things further with you.
So don’t take it personally and try not to let it get you down.
2. Reach out one last time
If you’ve been ghosted, it’s okay to reach out one last time and try to get some closure.
You can send a text message or leave a voicemail just asking for a quick explanation.
But don’t be too pushy or demanding.
And don’t keep reaching out if they don’t respond.
It can be tempting to keep trying because there’s a part of us that wants to believe that something could happen between us if we just give it enough time and effort.
But let’s be real here.
That might not happen because this person might not be interested in getting back together with you.
You haven’t really even started dating.
So don’t push things.
3. Move on
The best thing you can do is just move on.
There’s nothing you can do to make them change their mind, so it’s just not worth your time and energy to try.
Focus on finding someone who is interested in you and wants to have a relationship.
4. Don’t get revenge
You feel like the best course of action is to try to get back at the person who ghosted you—and that’s totally fine.
But the last thing they deserve is for you to go out of your way to make them feel bad because they didn’t want to continue seeing you.
Ghosting usually happens because someone doesn’t want an emotional connection with you.
If you try to get back at them, that means that you’re still trying to create an emotional connection with them, which will only make things worse for both of you.
Remember the time when an ex stupidly broke up with you?
Remember how much better off you were when you didn’t pull any stupid stunts in response?
Yeah, same thing here.
If someone ghosted you after the first date, they’re probably not into you anyway, so why go out of your way to make things more awkward than they already are?
Just let it go!
5. Remind yourself that this is not a reflection of your worth
It’s normal to feel a little angry or upset when you’re ghosted.
After all, this person has just made you feel like a piece of gum that they spat out and discarded when they were done chewing on it.
But once you get over those feelings and move on with your life, you’ll realize that being ghosted isn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.
So one of the best ways to get over being ghosted is by not letting it ruin your self-esteem or make you question yourself as a person.
It’s easy to feel like you’re not good enough after getting ghosted.
But if you were only seeing each other one time and nothing seemed too serious, then there’s no reason why this should change how you feel about yourself at all.
You are just as deserving of love and respect as anyone else.
6. Don’t blame yourself for putting yourself out there
You did the right thing by going on a date with someone who seemed cool and interesting.
Things didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that you should stop trying to find someone who is right for you.
7. Get support from friends and family
Ghosting can be a stressful experience.
After all, it’s hard to know if you did something wrong or you might never know what went wrong.
Instead of putting yourself through this confusion and heartache, find support from those who are there to listen.
Reach out to your friends and family for support and let them help you remember your worth and that you deserve better.
They can also provide the encouragement and motivation you need to move on.
Don’t freak out if you’ve been ghosted after first date.
It’s not the end of the world.
Try to take it in stride and give them some space.
If they don’t reach out, move on and find someone who appreciates you for the amazing person that you are.