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How do you trigger hero instinct in men?

What is the hero instinct?

In a nutshell, hero instinct means making a man feel needed.

In other words, it can be described as making him feel wanted and essential.

Research in psychology studies have revealed that men desire to feel needed by their women.

They want to be their women’s heroes.

They want their women to see them as (their) heroes.

Even though society has evolved so much that women have been molded to be independent in entirety.

Still, it does not and should not eradicate nuturturing in intimate relationships.

Radically, a sound and non-toxic relationship (which should always be your goal) based on mutual love and understanding between two interested and responsible adults is all about healthy emotional exchange.

Both parties should nurture each other with equal efforts.

Triggering the hero instinct in your man is not about descending into neediness on your own part, but contributing to his emotional needs, which is a basic aim of a relationship in the first place.

Rest assure that doing this does not take away from you as a woman and does not make you any less important than him.

If you are so interested, the following points are some actionable ways you can make a man feel needed, thereby triggering his hero instinct.

Hero Instinct in Men: How To Trigger Your Man’s

1. Appreciate him

hero instinct in men

According to psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, every individual has fundamental needs.

These needs are not exclusive to men or women, they are characteristic of human behaviour.

Core fundamental human needs include love, esteem, and belonging needs.

While self-assurance and emotional independence are both necessary for these core needs to be wholesomely met, naturally, these core needs are fully fulfilled through connections to others.

Sense of belonging is reinforced through continuous interactions in various circles.

Self-esteem increases in positive relationships.

While self-love is compulsory, love from others also provide warmth and happiness.

Meeting these needs in a man translates into making him feel like a hero.

To recapitulate, meeting emotional needs on both sides is the main purpose of a relationship.

We often get stuck on criticising our partners for their shortcomings.

It is common to be more focused on their flaws than what they do right.

Don’t get it wrong, this is not about turning a blind eye to their to their wrongs and miserably coping with their misdeeds.

It is about making it a habit to praise more than you judge.

Appreciate your partner for his good deeds.

When he gets it right, make mention of it.

Appreciate him for who he is.

Commuicate your appreciation verbally and otherwise.

There are no downsides to appreciation.

Appreciation is first to understand his true worth to you and the the value he brings into your life.

Not only does it set off the hero in him, it elevates the relationship.

2. Vocalize your admirations

Surely, there are qualities you admire in your partner.

There must be inherent character or characteristics and traits you approve of and respect in him.

Could be his work ethic, discipline, positivity or emotional support etc.

Besides words of affirmations, clearly communicate to your person what you love about them.

This is one sure way to make him feel like a hero.

Men want to feel approved by their women.

They want to feel seen for their best sides and good natures.

They want to be noticed, especially for what they are getting right.

Basically, as humans, we want to be praised and recognised and most especially for our positive qualities.

When you acknowledge a partner’s value, they feel seen and significant.

Whenever he exhibits an impressive quality, tell him.

3. Achievements

The basis of a healthy and balanced relationships is two whole adults who have their own lives and are actively focused on their personal goals and aspirations.

Applaud your partner for their achievements. No achievement is small, as long as it is accompanied with a sense of accomplishment.

Even if it is just hobbies.

They will feel that you know and understand their worth.

Also, doing this fosters intimacy.

When your partner hits his goals, acknowledge it.

Celebrate him.

Buy him gifts, take him out, or do something special for him whenever he hits milestones.


4. Ask for his help

Nothing triggers the hero in a man like when you ask for his help.

It is not about turning yourself into a perpetual damsel-in-distress or becoming totally dependent on him.

Don’t turn him into a perpetual errand boy either.

When you request his help, he feels needed.

It makes him feel essential.

Ask for his help around the house with mild repairs.

Ask him to do the heavy lifting.

Let him fix broken things for you.

Ask for his opinion on issues, both general and personal (if you’re comfortable with it).

5. Respect

It can also be suggested that triggering the hero instinct means making him feel important.

Of course, that you are in a relationship with someone already implies that they are and should be important to you.

Next is showing it and making it known to them how essential they are to you.

Nothing speaks importance to a man than when you accord him proper respect.

Not eye service, not clinginess, but true and real respect.

Granted, everyone needs respect, no matter who they are, man and woman.

When you are being intentional about making him feel like a hero, don’t aim too far from respect.

Hold him in high regard and communicate it in your interactions.

6. His role(s)

hero instinct in men

Good lovers go the extra mile.

Beyond the usual functions of intimacy, most men don’t mind being all up in your space to ensure you feel safe, secure and covered in most, if not all areas of life.

Does he play the role of best friend? Cheerleader? Therapist? Brother? Even grocery shopper?

Let him know that you appreciate him for the various roles he plays in your life.

7. Fundamental functions of intimacy

This is not about babying him or choking him with attention, but expressing love and covering bases with general habits of closeness such as caring, moral support, gentleness, kindness, acts of goodness etc

Sometimes, you don’t need to look too far to trigger hero instinct in a man, just doing the fundamentals communicates the intentions.

In all of this, ensure that you are getting as much as you are giving.

Even if the man is worth the stress, make sure that you will get as much as you plan to give.

Do not neglect your own needs in the process of triggering the hero instinct in your man.

The principle of mutual efforts is the goal and the best way to improve the wellbeing of a relationship without resulting to bitterness on any side.

Also, keep in mind that the key to a longlasting and healthy relationship is committment and consistent intentional work, not hero instinct.

hero instinct in men

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