A guy or love interest playing mind games on you will likely leave you confused and disoriented.
When a guy plays mind games, his motive is to gain control of the relationship and leave you with little or no say about how things operate in the relationship.
He wants to tease you and make you thirst for him.
Such that he can withdraw himself in the least expected moments.
He wants you to feel inadequate while he magnifies his importance.
You begin to doubt yourself and may not trust yourself to handle the situation appropriately.
You deserve a relationship where neither sees the other as less valuable and dispensable.
He must want you as much as you want him if a healthy relationship is to be built.
It’s important to note that love is not blind, as often said by many.
Even if love were blind, marriage is an eye-opener because all the red flags one had earlier on waved aside as non-consequential would now be amplified.
Now staring at one in the face, at this point, all you will likely feel is regrets.
Your guy’s different mind game signals are red flags that should be evaluated and avoided.
I say there is a need for evaluation because some of them are merely signals which could be valid or invalid, depending on the peculiarities of your relationship.
For instance, your guy going cold on you when you try to reciprocate his earlier moves at you may not compulsorily be a mind game tactic.
He could simply be unsure of his feelings towards you and has decided to take things slow.
So you need to pay attention to check if it is a habit.
If he continually goes on and off on you in that manner, there is a cause for concern.
In essence, for every sign you observe, consider the context while handling the situation.
Now, the big question is, how does one handle a guy who plays mind games?
How to handle a man who plays mind games?
1. Do not get stuck in your feelings
Yes, you are hurt and feel like you have been taken for a fool; such feelings are expected.
However, you mustn’t stay emotional for too long so you can make reasonable and rational decisions.
His motive is to take control of your emotions, do not permit him to succeed.
Once your guy sees that you control your feelings, he will know he is failing at his gimmicks and will likely back off.
2. Maintain your self-worth
His motive is for you to chase him so he can make you believe he is the catch.
When you notice he is playing mind games on you, you need to respect yourself and let him be.
Give him some distance, and don’t act desperate for his attention.
Do not condone any form of talking down from him.
Love edifies. Love does not tear down.
As a lady who has self-worth, there are some boundaries you do not allow guys to cross.
Do not allow a guy with low self-esteem to drag you to his level.
Love requires you to be vulnerable.
However, you must ascertain the credibility and reliability of the person you choose to be vulnerable with.
3. Entertain him less
You need to also give him some cold shoulder when he comes back as usual like nothing happened.
Let him believe you are not worried or eager to hear from him, contrary to his expectations.
Make yourself less available for him.
He needs to be beaten at his own game.
Keep him at arm’s length so he does not get to play his tricks on you.
You should only give your attention to a guy who deserves it and not to some guy who thinks the best way to have you is to play mind games.
4. Discuss with a trusted friend
Sometimes, we need a voice of reason to help us see clearly in our dilemmas.
You could discuss your observations with a trusted or experienced friend so they can help you assess the situation more objectively.
This friend has to be someone who believes in you and your abilities, so she will most likely remind you of who you are in case his tactics seem to be pushing that truth into oblivion.
When you get unnecessarily vulnerable with him, this friend will be your voice of caution and accountability partner.
5. Have a frank conversation with him
You need to confront him with this foolhardy.
You may need to tell him without mincing words that you get what he is doing and are not one to fall for such gimmicks.
Exhibit a good level of confidence when discussing with him so that he does not hijack the conversation.
Cite instances when you felt taken for granted and make your stance known.
Let him know you only deal with men who know what they want and go for it.
He needs to realise that such acts disrespect you and that you tolerate no disrespect.
Be prepared for some gaslighting and denials, but by now, you probably recognise these attitudes of his well enough to be affected by them.
Stand up for yourself.
No one will do this for you as much as you can.
6. Be extra-vilgilant
This is not a time to let your guard down.
You need to be more perceptive to outsmart him.
You need not give him the benefit of the doubt when he has exhausted his chances.
Do not take his word for it until well investigated.
Yes, he has shown that you do not deserve his trust, so do not trust his acts without ascertaining their intentions.
7. Take self-development seriously
A person who continually sees no need to work on self-improvement is a walking corpse.
Sometimes, our low self-esteem is actually fuelled by our inadequacies, and some of these inadequacies could be helped.
You are probably less confident because you do not see yourself getting better.
Invest in yourself and present yourself respectfully so that men who approach you cannot deny your value.
Amass value and celebrate your wins and achievements, regardless of what he thinks of you.
LAST THOUGHTS
People who play mind games are selfish, so you also need to watch out for yourself so they do not ruin your self-esteem for other relationships.
You need to know yourself.
Discover who you are so that some manipulative guy does not throw you off-balance by calling you things that are not.
Personally, identify your strengths and weaknesses so that it is impossible for others to spite you with your weaknesses.
Affirm your strengths to yourself and seek to be better always.