One of the most exasperating experiences a lady could have in relationship matters is being a subject of mind games.
If a guy keeps portraying himself as a love interest on and off, it could be really distracting and confusing for a lady.
Playing mind games is a psychological tactic that insecure guys employ to gain control of a lady and strip her of self-confidence.
He has low self-esteem, and he needs to drag her down to his confidence level, or better still, more down, so that he can feel in charge.
No guy, with a lady’s best interest, will play mind games on her.
It is an utterly manipulative move.
If you are wondering if that guy that leaves you abashed each time you reciprocate his gestures is playing mind games or simply not interested, here’s to help you identify the possible signs of mind games in a man.
He does not express himself clearly but always gives you some body language that could be difficult to decipher.
He makes you feel bad about what you are oblivious to just to get your attention and unwarranted apologies.
8 Surefire Signs He Is Playing Mind Games
He is playing mind games with you if:
1. He is giving you mixed signals
Most men are usually clear about what they want.
When they know what they want in a woman and are sure about it, they go for it.
Therefore, if you are finding it difficult to understand a guy’s intention towards you, he could be playing mind games on you.
Today, he acts like you both are an item and treats you as his lover, which makes you begin to project the start of something good between you two.
However, the next time you see them, he acts like you are just casual friends and could withdraw from you if you attempt to do to him everything you did the last time you were together.
This keeps going on and off, and you begin to wonder if he observed something wrong with you.
One moment, he acts and tells you things that suggest that you are the closest person to him.
The next moment, he makes you feel like you are overrating your importance in his life.
He does this by telling you about so many other ladies that play the same role that makes you feel special to him.
Now, here lies the danger.
He does this in a bid to make you feel low and unworthy of him.
In cases like this, after treating you like this for a while and you still stick around, he would have ensured to make you feel like he settled for you amongst several other options.
There, he has what he wants! Control!
2. He guilt-trips you for not reaching out when he made himself unreachable.
He sometimes deliberately goes incommunicado with you for no apparent reason.
He goes on with his life without you.
All the while, you are torn between worry and anger for being left in the dark as to why he is unreachable.
Voilà! He comes back with a fictitious sad and scary story of how he’s been going through a traumatic experience and with many lies about his whereabouts.
He blames you for not being there for him and for not trying your best to reach out and be there for him during his imaginary tough period.
All your worries and anger dissipate into guilt.
You feel bad for not doing all you possibly could have done to help him rather than nursing anger towards him.
You begin to apologise and promise to do better subsequently, and so continues the cycle.
By so doing, he has successfully toyed with your emotions so that you will always feel the need to live up to his expectations so he can consider you caring enough to be in a relationship with him.
Men who do this often take advantage of their knowledge that the lady is head over heels in love with them.
3. He acts indifferent when you look stunning.
Have many people showered you with a plethora of compliments about your look for an outing, only to get to your love interest whose compliments would mean the most to you, and he acts indifferent?
He literally acts oblivious to your look and carries on like it’s not a big deal.
And even if he would say something, it would be negative. He could go:
“Don’t you think this outfit is an overkill?”
“Did you change your make-up artist?
Something looks off.”
“Hope you won’t delay my pace with those shoes you are wearing?”
This could be another mind game tactic.
This tactic is aimed at chipping off your confidence about your body and look generally so you do not feel he is lucky to have you.
Mind game players are dangerous.
They want you, but they want you broken!
They want to be in control at all times and will do anything to present themselves as the prize.
4. He plays hard to please
He subtly talks about how high his tastes are generally to make him strive to please him.
However, the more you do, the more he makes you feel like an underachiever.
He downplays your achievements in a sweet voice such that you cannot even outrightly call him out for insulting you without appearing crazy.
He eats a sumptuous meal cooked by you, but he would rather die than give you your accolades.
He even acts shocked at your abilities, as though he didn’t expect something so great from a woman like you.
It’s okay to be impressed, but being shocked could sometimes come off as an insult.
He does everything to make you doubt yourself and your capabilities around him.
5. He compares you with others
Another tactic of the mind game is comparison.
If your guy habitually compares you with other ladies, your siblings, your friends and even his exes, all to make you feel like the least of all, he is very likely playing mind games with you.
Have you ever felt like you are the third wheel in your relationship because your man never ceases to you with his ex?
He finds a way to bring up her name unprovoked.
He tells you to do things the same way his ex did.
He makes you feel like his ex left a blueprint that you must adhere to in order to sustain the relationship.
And you find yourself wondering why he is no longer in a relationship with any of his exes if they were so good to him.
6. He envies your achievements
He accuses you of disrespect and arrogance for every misunderstanding you have, which he links to your latest achievement.
He tells you not to let your achievements get into your head and reminds you always that he is in charge.
He reminds you, always, of the danger of being too ambitious as a lady.
This, right here, is what pushes some women into attributing their self-acquired possessions to their men.
He either fakes happiness for your achievements or bluntly tells you it is not worth celebrating, but he would do more than celebrate if he were in your shoes.
This is especially if it is a feat he has not achieved.
7. He derives pleasure in making you feel jealous
He does not have any iota of respect for your boundaries as his woman.
He is in a relationship with you but presents himself as available for so many other ladies, and he expects you to be cool with it.
Any protest from you is welcomed with a feat of aggression.
He calls other ladies the pet names he calls you; he makes calls at ungodly hours with other ladies, and he does not introduce you to his female friends.
Anything to make you feel jealous and replaceable at the slightest misdeed.
This is him playing on your emotions and making himself feel like the one with multiple choices while you are stuck with him.
He calls the shots and won’t call it quits, except he is done with you, yet he makes you feel dispensable.
8. He tells you to keep the relationship a secret
He gives you a million reasons why showing off your relationship with the public could be hazardous.
He even tells you to keep it between you two until he says otherwise.
Your loved ones do not know about him simply because he says so.
Keeping a relationship private is different from keeping it a secret.
Your private affairs should not be aired publicly, no doubt.
However, any guy who tells you to remain secretive about what you share most likely has some insidious motives up his sleeves and is avoiding every form of accountability.
Love makes us vulnerable. This is indisputable.
However, love is not foolish.
Love is edifying; it does not tear down.
Dating a person who plays mind games could mess up your mind such that you can no longer even recognise true love.
Any love interest or relationship that makes you doubt yourself is nothing short of toxic and should not continue.
If he exhibits any or many of the signs above, he is probably playing mind games with you.
He is interested in you mainly for selfish reasons.
Everything will be about how he feels and rarely about you.