Nobody loves to be taken for granted, but taking someone for granted is very easy.
When people are always available to us no matter how we behave, it is very easy to take them for granted.
Sometimes, it is unintentional, and other times, it is very intentional.
But whether it is deliberate or not, it is terrible to be in a situation where your efforts go unacknowledged or unreciprocated.
But enough with the issues.
If your boyfriend is taking you for granted, I can imagine that it breaks your heart, and you are probably wondering what to do.
It is not an impossible situation, especially if he still loves you.
You just need to learn how to teach him a lesson when he takes you for granted for him to realize what he is doing wrong.
Now, I know what you are thinking; calm your nerves.
I will not tell you to do anything harmful to your man.
I will be showing you ways to shake him a little or wake him up if you’d prefer.
He is likely taking you for granted because he has gotten too comfortable, and we need to make him less comfortable.
So, having established that, let’s get to the meat of the discussion.
How to Teach Him a Lesson When He Takes You for Granted
- Communicate Your Feelings
I know this sounds like a total contradiction because you are reading an article about teaching him a lesson.
But honestly, sometimes, communication is all you need.
Let me put it this way; we go to school to learn a lesson, and that lesson is communicated to us mostly by words.
A corny equivalence, I know, but follow me.
Sometimes, people do things out of ignorance – I already mentioned that it could be unintentional.
And if he is ignorant of what he is doing, then the kind of “lesson” he needs is communication.
Let him know how you feel and how you read his actions.
Don’t bash him or use insulting words.
Calmly articulate your points – that’s why it’s advisable not to do this when you are angry.
Do it at the right time and choose your words lovingly and politely, or he might become defensive.
And trust me, you don’t want a defensive man when you are trying to have a conversation about your feelings.
So, be kinder with your words while explaining how you feel and tell what he could do to make you feel less taken for granted.
As I said, he might genuinely not know you are feeling that way, and you could wake him up with your words.
If this fails, you can try some of the tips below to help him get it.
2. Give Him Space
It is very normal to be clingy and all when you love someone, and you are a very affectionate or emotional person.
But if your partner is not matching your energy, it might mean he is not into the clinginess.
So, you might want to tone it down.
Whoever said absence makes the heart fond is very right.
When people have something – in this case, someone – always available to them, it is easy to forget their worth.
But when they are not always available, the absence will help them remember.
3. Get Busy
To successfully achieve the above, you need to get busy.
If you don’t have much to do, you’d likely want to spend all that time with your lover.
In the first place, at this age and time, a woman should have a source of income.
If you don’t have a source of income, find some.
Either start a business or find a job.
Trust me; he’d even respect you more because you’d be able to hold your own in the relationship.
Besides that, have a life outside of him.
Your whole life does not have to revolve around him.
Hang out with your family and friends and pay attention to your passions and interests.
For instance, if you love watching movies, you can take yourself out to watch that movie you’d been waiting to premiere; you don’t have to involve him if he is unwilling.
You’d hardly have time to be clingy and all up in his face when you are busy like that.
If he was taken you for granted before, believe me when I say that would reset his brain.
4. Don’t Take Initiative
Are you the one always planning dates?
Are you the one always calling and checking on him?
It might be time to stop.
He has come to expect you to take the initiative, so he is no longer bothering to make the first move.
If you don’t put a halt to that – at least, for the time being, for him to get the message – he might never understand that he has taken you for granted.
But if you stop taking the initiative, it’s only a matter of time before he notices that something is missing.
And, at the very least, that’d spur a well-needed conversation.
5. Play His Game
Sometimes, most people need someone to play their game.
He is taking you for granted?
Well, fine, it is time he sees how it feels to be taken for granted.
So, let him have a taste of his own medicine.
You can do this by replicating some of his actions that affect you or doing something you are sure affects him.
This is so he understands treating others the way he wants to be treated.
6. Ignore Him
He is probably taking you for granted because he is used to you being around all the time.
So, he believes you will always do that even if he doesn’t reciprocate it.
Well, it is time to wake him up from his slumber.
You need to let him know that if your efforts are not appreciated, you might as well stop putting effort.
So, if you usually pick up his calls and reply to his messages immediately they drop, start giving it time before responding.
And you might also want to reduce the number of times you call or text him.
And if he is your husband – therefore lives in the same house with you – stay out of his way.
7. Be Assertive About Your Needs
At times, many of us have a problem being assertive about what we need to make us feel loved and wanted in a relationship.
This gives our partners the impression that we are comfortable with the status quo.
But you need to start demanding what you need, and if that man loves you, he will get in line.
I understand not wanting to be too burdensome.
While that is commendable, it should not be taken too far.
As long as you are not being too demanding or asking for what you are not giving in return, then you have a right to it.
Tell that man how you want to be treated, and don’t settle for less than that.
8. Make Him Jealous
If he is still not getting it after all the above, you might want to make him jealous.
A word of caution; I am not asking you to go all out to have sex with someone else or even emotionally cheat on him.
What we are selling here is an illusion and not reality.
The first thing you want to do is to get your glow up.
Do your hair – especially that hairstyle that he likes the most or you know makes you look best and get your best look on.
Then go out with your friends and make sure to have fun – you deserve it anyway.
If you have a male friend, the better.
But please don’t recruit the services of the male friend you know is nursing feelings for you.
That would be counterproductive.
So, make sure it’s a friend with whom you have a completely platonic relationship.
And don’t forget to take pictures for social media.
Let him see you living your best life.
Seeing you enjoy yourself without him is sure to make him jealous.
It’d sell the impression that if he were not in your life, you might not miss him or that if he doesn’t fix up, he might lose you.
9. Leave Him
If all else fails, leave him.
If you have done all the above and your man still doesn’t fix up, you might need to leave him.
It is very unlikely that the man loves you.
However, if you are still reluctant, you can have a final discussion highlighting all you did to get his attention for taking you for granted.
And if you don’t get the required reaction, sis, you might need to acknowledge that you are not where you are appreciated.
He might come back, and he might not.
But whatever the case, you are better off without a man who doesn’t appreciate you.
In conclusion, as I said earlier, being taken for granted is not a sign that your partner no longer loves you.
He might not even notice he has taken you for granted.
And that’s why you need to make sure he does notice. ‘
And sometimes, a conversation is not enough; you need to be a bit forceful, so he sees you are serious.
But like I also said, if all else fails, one of the best ways to teach him a lesson when he takes you for granted is to leave.
A man unwilling to change doesn’t deserve you.