“I’m not ready for a relationship but I like her. What do I do?”
So you have met a girl who you really like and love to spend time with.
She probably even ticks all the boxes for you, and you are just in awe of how amazing she is all the time.
You look forward to her calls, texts, and presence, and she also seems to enjoy your company.
Now, the problem is that even though you like her, you are not ready for a relationship or an official commitment.
As much as you like and enjoy being around her, you are not ready to make it official yet.
Neither are you ready for the commitment and responsibilities of officially becoming her man.
Yet you don’t want to lose her.
What can you do?
A love relationship is a huge responsibility and requires two willing people ready to make it work.
It is not unusual for a person to be in a position or a season of their life where they are not ready for a relationship or any official commitment, even when they like the other person.
People go through different seasons in life and face different challenges.
Some phases of life are more difficult than others.
It is healthy to recognize when you are in a season, phase, or position when you should not get committed to a relationship yet because of the demands of life on you mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, and so on.
Getting into a relationship at the wrong time is bad for you, your partner, and the relationship.
That you are not ready for a relationship does not mean that you do not have strong and genuine feelings for your partner.
You can care about her deeply and even potentially see a future with her, yet not be in a good place for a serious commitment yet.
However, whether or not she will wait until you’re ready is another question entirely that she can only answer.
As for you, in this situation, what is the proper thing to do?
”Not Ready For a Relationship But I Like Her”
1) Process your feelings
The first thing you need to do in a situation like this is to look inwards and collect your thoughts.
Analyze what you feel and know exactly what it is.
Do you like her as a friend, or are the feelings romantic?
Be honest with yourself and know what kinds of feelings you have.
While doing this, you may find out that you do not exactly want a romantic relationship with her at all; you just like her as a friend or a sister.
Knowing this will help you with the next step.
2) Do not lead her on
After processing your feelings, you’d be clear on if the feelings are romantic or platonic.
Whichever it is, it is important to avoid actions that communicate messages which contradict what you want, aka mixed signals.
Since you are certain that you like her, but you’re not ready to start a relationship or any form of commitment, whether or not your feelings for her are romantic, you must stay away from doing anything that sends her a signal that you would like to date her now.
Doing anything to lead her on would mean deceiving her and making her build castles in the air.
This can potentially ruin any form of relationship or friendship you both share.
3) Communicate with her
The best way to not lead her on is to verbally and honestly communicate your feelings and situation to her.
This may be hard, but it is the right thing to do.
You may be surprised to find out that she is neither ready for a relationship and is okay with whatever kind of relationship between you, for now.
On the other hand, she may want a relationship and not be satisfied with just being friends.
In this case, although it will hurt, you both have to part ways and move on to avoid unmet expectations because you want different things in your lives.
You may meet later in life when you are both ready for a relationship and make it work.
Another possibility is that she says she wants to wait until you’re ready for a relationship.
This is a tough decision that comes with no assurances.
It is a risk.
It can end in the right direction such that you take your time to ponder and decide if you’re ready for a relationship, and after a short period, you decide that you are and start a relationship with her.
This will also give you a sense of importance and honor because you believe you’re worth waiting for.
However, her choosing to wait for you can also end in many disappointing ways.
Some of which are:
1# Waiting can be emotionally draining and stressful, and it can come with questions in her mind about whether it will eventually be worth the wait.
2# If she chooses to wait for you, it also means that she may have to turn down other emotionally available people who have potential, and this can lead to her resenting you if you wake up one day to realize you don’t want a relationship with her anymore, even in future.
3# She can get tired of waiting for you, and the weariness can lead to other strong feelings like dislike.
She may begin to think you do not like her at all.
4# She may meet someone else along the way in her waiting period and decide to leave you for him.
Leaving you hurt and disappointed.
This is why it is important to communicate thoroughly in situations like this.
No stones should be left unturned so that no hearts will be broken.
