If you want a serious relationship, then you surely want a guy who sees you for more than just your body.
You want a guy who will be your best friend, your partner in crime, and your confidante.
But you’ve not been getting that, I guess?
You’ve only been meeting guys who act like your body is all that matters to them.
Let’s see why this happens so you know how to tackle it.
Why Do Guys Only Want Me For My Body? 18 Incredible Reasons For This
1. They’re shallow
Gbam!
That’s just the truth.
Some guys are only interested in a woman’s body and nothing else.
They don’t care about her personality, intelligence, or anything else that makes her unique, and I’m bold to say that’s plain shallow.
2. Lack of communication:
The heart of the issue lies in how we communicate our needs and desires.
Sometimes, guys may only be interested in your body because there hasn’t been much communication beyond physical attraction.
If your connection with this guy is only physical, he may not realize that there is more to you than your body.
3. Society’s pressure:
One of the main reasons why guys may only seem interested in your body is because society has put a lot of pressure on them to be “masculine” and to pursue sexual relationships constantly.
This societal expectation can make it difficult for some men to see beyond physical appearance.
As a teenager, I grew up in a part of Nigeria where young men slept with ladies for sport.
If you didn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend in secondary school, you were tagged as a weirdo.
This kind of pressure pushed a lot of young people into sexual relationships and unending debauchery.
Guys keep coming for your body because they have succumbed to societal pressures, and all they see when they see a beautiful woman is SEX!
4. Past experiences:
It’s possible that you’ve had past experiences where guys have only wanted you for your body, and this can make you attract similar types of men unconsciously.
The subconscious mind is very powerful, and you need to think deeply to get to the root of the issue.
Have you noticed patterns in your past relationships where guys only wanted your body?
This may be an indicator of a deeper issue.
Perhaps, due to trauma, abandonment, or daddy issues, you are subconsciously attracting guys who want your body.
In this case, the best bet is to heal and re-engineer your subconscious mind.
For this type of issue, I recommend counseling or therapy.
5. Insecurity:
It’s painfully common for both men and women to struggle with insecurities, which can sometimes influence how people approach relationships.
A guy might feel more comfortable engaging in a relationship that’s primarily physical because it feels safer and less vulnerable than connecting on a deeper, emotional level.
This may be why they only want your body.
It also means you have been meeting insecure guys.
6. Lack of respect:
When someone doesn’t truly respect you, they might not see the need to go beyond the surface.
Guys who haven’t learned to value women beyond their looks tend to have a shallow approach to relationships.
This lack of respect might not just be towards you but a reflection of how they view women in general.
It’s like they’re missing out on the whole you because they’re too caught up in the superficial.
7. Cultural influences:
You’d be surprised how much culture plays a role in coloring our perceptions and behavior in relationships.
From the movies we watch to the music we listen to, there’s often a recurring theme of glorifying physical attractiveness above all else.
This cultural conditioning can unconsciously shape someone’s priorities, making them more focused on their outer beauty than who they are on the inside.
It’s like they’re wearing cultural glasses that make them see the world slightly skewed.
8. The chase:
Sometimes, it’s all about the thrill of the chase for some guys.
They might be drawn to the challenge of pursuing someone they find physically attractive without giving much thought to building a deeper connection.
Once the chase is over, they might lose interest because their initial motivation wasn’t about getting to know you for you.
It’s frustrating, but recognizing this pattern can save you from heartaches.
9. Fear of commitment:
Now, this one hits close to home for a lot of folks.
Commitment can be scary, especially if someone isn’t sure about what they want in life or from a relationship.
For some guys, pursuing someone based solely on physical attraction can be a way to keep things light and uncomplicated.
They might think, “If I don’t get too emotionally involved, then I won’t get hurt.”
It’s a defense mechanism, but it can cause more harm than good, especially if you’re looking for something more meaningful.
10. Emotional unavailability:
Do you know how some folks seem a tad harder to reach as if they’ve got this invisible wall up?
That’s emotional unavailability for you.
Sometimes, a guy might be going through his own stuff, making it difficult for him to open up and connect on a deeper level.
Instead, he might lean towards a physical relationship because it doesn’t require him to be emotionally present.
It’s not that you’re not amazing – because you are – it’s just that he’s not in a place where he can appreciate that fully.
And while it can feel personal, remember, it’s more about where he is emotionally than anything to do with you.
This implies that you’ve been meeting and rolling with emotionally unavailable guys.
11. You’re sexy:
Okay, before we go any further, can we have a real moment here?
Sometimes, the simplest explanation is actually the truth – you are very sexy, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Your confidence, the way you carry yourself, your smile… it’s all incredibly attractive.
And while it’s a compliment, it can also be a bit of a double-edged sword.
Some guys might be so captivated by your outer allure that they don’t take the time to discover the incredible person you are on the inside.
It’s okay to be desired for your physical appeal, but you deserve someone who’s equally fascinated by your mind, your passions, and your quirks.
It’s about finding that person who wants the whole package, not just the wrapping.
12. Compatibility issues:
Have you ever considered that it’s a matter of compatibility?
Think about it – relationships are like puzzles, and sometimes the pieces just don’t fit, no matter how much you want them to.
If a guy is only interested in your body, it could be because that’s the only aspect of you that he finds attractive, and unfortunately, sometimes that’s just not enough.
You deserve someone who sees your entire being as beautiful, inside and out.
13. That’s what you offer:
This one might hurt a bit, but it’s important to address.
Sometimes, we attract what we put out into the world.
If you constantly prioritize physical appearance over substance in your own life, then it’s likely that you’ll also attract individuals who have the same mindset.
I’m not judging you; I’m just presenting you with an opportunity for self-reflection and growth.
Are you truly valuing yourself and others beyond looks?
What do you bring to the table besides your appearance?
14. They’re just not that into you:
A guy who is into you will want more than your physical presence.
He will want to know your thoughts, feelings, dreams, and fears.
He’ll want to make an effort to get to know you on a deeper level because he genuinely cares about you.
So, if a guy is only interested in your body, it’s safe to say that he’s not that into you as a person.
15. Social media and over-sexualization:
Social media has a lot of influence over how people think and act and their expectations.
The over-sexualization of relationships and general content online may have wired the guys you are meeting to see what you can offer them in the “other room.”
The other day, Moses Bliss, a popular gospel artiste, got married, and his wife was criticized for being and dressing too decently on her wedding day.
The thing with social media is that the trends never end.
Your guys may be trendy guys who don’t see past boobs and butts.
16. You are attracting the wrong guys:
This is why we are even having this discussion to start with.
If this pattern unnerves you, you should consider that you have been attracting the wrong guys.
This doesn’t mean that all guys are the same, and for the record, I don’t buy into those “all men are cheats!” narratives.
There are still good and noble men out there who are capable of loving you for you.
You only need to meet them.
Here are a couple of tips for meeting the right guy: Check your environment and change it; update and expand your friendship circles.
Get new knowledge and invest in yourself.
Travel and socialize more.
Dress how you want to be addressed, and make your values clear from the beginning.
17. You are too needy:
The thing about communication is that it is versatile.
You may be very needy and communicate this to the guys you meet.
Your body language may say, “Let’s get down”.
If this is so, a guy who is also out of a noncommital relationship will quickly take advantage.
This neediness can stem from self-esteem issues or be indicative of unhealed trauma.
18. You encourage them:
Another reason guys want you for your body alone may be that you encourage them.
When you engage guys without establishing proper boundaries, don’t be surprised if they erode it.
I recall that during my student training exercise in college, I worked at a broadcast station where the guys were hitting on ladies.
A few of them jokingly tried to woo me and make sexual comments to draw me in, but immediately, I made it clear that I wasn’t into that.
Guess what?
They backed off!
You may need to learn to say no and put your foot down, insisting on how you want to be treated.
Until you begin to do this, you’ll have to deal with self-centered guys who only want your body.
Will he leave?
Maybe… but if his values do not align with yours, he isn’t good for you.
“Soldier come, soldier go, barrack go remain,” a famous Nigerian pidgin quote says (meaning some factors are unstable, but focus on the ones that scarcely change).
When he leaves, the right man for you will come knocking.
The truth is that you are not helpless; in fact, you are powerful beyond measure.
You need to start teaching the guys you meet how you expect to be treated, and trust me, it works!