Being married is work but isn’t supposed to be boring.
You should be able to look at your spouse and feel a rush of love, excitement, and passion.
But too often, married life can feel like a chore.
It is a chore sometimes, but it shouldn’t always be.
Marriage is supposed to be a happy, fulfilling relationship.
But if you’re in a boring marriage, it can feel like anything but.
If you’re feeling unhappy or just plain unfulfilled, here are some signs that your marriage is boring:
14 Signs of a Boring Marriage
1. You don’t spend any time together
If you and your spouse are barely spending any time together, it’s a sign that your marriage is becoming boring.
Work, kids, and other obligations can get in the way, but if you’re not making time for each other, it’s a problem.
While some couples choose to spend their free time apart (which is advisable), if you’re spending all of your free time doing things alone and none of it with your spouse, things are getting boring.
What’s marriage without spending quality time together?
2. You don’t have anything to talk about
When you spend time together, do you find that you don’t have anything to say to each other?
If you can’t think of anything interesting to tell your spouse when they call or when you are together, your marriage is getting stale.
Being in love means wanting to share every aspect of your life with the person who matters most — even the mundane parts.
You should be able to talk about your day, your goals, the kids, and even others!
Your spouse should be your gossip partner.
So, if there was once a time when you could talk about everything under the sun, and now there are just awkward silences, it’s a sign your relationship has lost its spark and become stale like old bread.
3. You’re not having any fun
Marriage should be enjoyable.
When was the last time you did something fun with your partner?
If it has been years since you did anything interesting as a couple, there isn’t much excitement in your relationship anymore.
I know married life can get so busy, especially with kids, but a couple should always create time to do something fun together.
One of the ways my husband and I have fun in our marriage is by watching the same Netflix series together.
It’s also a way to spend time together.
You should find some new hobbies or interests that you can share and have fun together.
4. You don’t like being around each other anymore
You may still love each other but just don’t feel like spending time together anymore — or even being at home with each other.
It’s a different thing if you are unable to spend time together because life got busy, but if you’re not excited to see your spouse when they walk into the house, you’ve become complacent with your relationship.
5. You don’t do anything together
Do you ever do anything together as a couple?
I’m not talking about going to the grocery store or taking your kids to school but doing something together just for the two of you.
When last did you bathe, eat, play, take a walk, or go on a date together?
If you can’t remember the last time you did something together, it’s probably because you don’t do anything together.
While it’s important to spend quality time with your children, they shouldn’t eclipse spending quality time alone with your spouse.
6. You don’t laugh together anymore
When last did you have a good belly laugh with your spouse?
I mean, really laugh — not just chuckle or giggle.
If you can’t remember, it’s probably because you don’t laugh together that much anymore.
You should be laughing at each other’s jokes and sharing funny videos or memes.
You should be creating inside jokes together and throwing jabs at each other.
Laughter is one of the easiest ways to bond with someone, but if you don’t laugh with your spouse anymore, this may mean that there isn’t any intimacy left in the marriage.
7. You don’t feel connected to each other anymore
When you’re in love, you feel connected to your partner on a deep level.
You share everything with each other — your hopes, dreams, fears, and secrets.
But if you’re not sharing anything with your spouse anymore, it’s a sign that you’re not as connected to them as you used to be.
And that means your marriage is getting boring.
8. You’re not physically intimate anymore
Physical intimacy is an important part of marriage, and if you’re not being intimate with your spouse, it’s a sign that passion is lacking in your marriage.
If you’ve been married a few years, things have likely simmered down in the bedroom.
This is normal and nothing to be ashamed of, but it can still be upsetting if you are in a dry spell.
Boredom in the bedroom is a huge sign of boredom in marriage.
Because if you are on fire for each other, you should be on fire for each other in the bedroom.
9. You are constantly fighting
When was the last time you had a civil conversation with your spouse?
If you find yourself arguing every time you talk, there’s probably something wrong with your marriage.
You may think it’s normal for couples to have disagreements, but if they’re constant and never-ending, it makes a marriage boring.
10. You’ve stopped trying to be romantic
One of the signs of a boring marriage is when you’ve stopped trying to be romantic with each other.
You don’t remember the last time you did something special for your spouse or even said, “I love you.”
You no longer share hugs and kisses or touch each other (even without s*x).
Kisses and hugs may seem like small things, but they’re a great way to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
11. You take each other for granted
Taking each other for granted and not thanking them for things they do for you or the household in general (cooking dinner, cleaning, paying the bills, caring for children, etc.) is also a sign that things are going stale in your marriage.
It’s important to recognize when you are taking your partner for granted.
If you don’t say thank you, it might come across as if you don’t care about what your partner has done.
While verbalizing your thanks is often helpful, nonverbal cues such as hugs, cuddles, and kisses can express your gratitude just as effectively.
12. They don’t include you in their plans anymore
When your partner stops including you in plans and decisions, they no longer believe you have an important role in their lives.
They’re treating you as a mere afterthought when they should be thinking of you as a core part of the main event.
This shows you are no longer working together as a team, and everyone is doing their own thing.
13. No more cuddling
Cuddling may seem like a playful pastime, but it is one of the most important ways couples can connect.
Research shows that cuddling is critical for your physical and mental health.
Couples who cuddle more are happier and more satisfied with their relationships overall.
When we cuddle with our partners, we experience an increase in oxytocin (the hormone responsible for bonding) which reduces stress and anxiety, promotes better sleep, lowers blood pressure, and increases immune function.
Couples who cuddle regularly report feeling more connected to each other than those who don’t.
Cuddling allows you to communicate without words; sometimes, just being close to your partner can tell them everything they need to know about how much you love them.
If you are no longer cuddling with your spouse, your marriage is getting boring.
14. You spend more time with your phone than with each other
In the age of social media, it’s easy to get lost in the world of likes and shares.
You might think that’s not a big deal — until you realize that you spend more time scrolling through your phone than talking to your spouse.
It’s not uncommon for couples to spend time on their phones while they’re together — even if they’re busy doing something else — but if it happens virtually every time you’re together, you are bored of each other.
If you’re experiencing any of these signs in your marriage, it’s important to talk to your spouse.
Boredom is not a death sentence for your marriage, but it can be if you don’t do anything about it.
Talk to your spouse about your concerns and try to come up with some ways to spice up your marriage, such as:
Scheduling some time for yourself and your spouse to spend together.
The time will vary depending on how busy both parties are.
Some couples think weekly date nights are enough, while others are fine with monthly outings.
Whatever works for you.
Do something fun
Choose an activity/activities that you both enjoy.
Talk about your feelings and set aside time exclusively for discussing each other’s hopes and dreams
This will help you feel more connected to your spouse.
Be more spontaneous
Do things on the spur of the moment without planning everything out.
This can add some excitement to your relationship.
Flirt with each other
Yes, even if you’ve been married for years.
You can do this by complimenting your spouse and touching each other.
With some effort, you can get back on track and have a happy and fulfilling relationship.