As much as we hold on to the idea of a “happily ever after,” reality is a different story altogether.
Extramarital affairs are more common than not, and this explains why we always write about infidelity here.
So it’s no longer news that some married men engage in affairs with mistresses.
These forbidden relationships usually involve a lot of lies and secrecy from the married man, and these lies are often disguised as sweet nothings.
I mean, these married men need to tell their mistresses something to keep them hooked, right?
But what are the most common things married men say to their mistresses?
I’ll tell you 12 of them.
12 Things Married Men Say to Their Mistresses
1. “I love you”
Who doesn’t love to hear the words I love you, especially from someone they have feelings for?
No matter how tough you are, hearing the words I love you from someone you deeply care about will make you feel warm inside.
Now imagine a man who is determined to cheat on his wife, telling his new object of affection that he loves her.
Just imagine how convincing he’d sound.
Sometimes the mistress doesn’t know that her lover is married, and other times, she’s well aware that he is married.
In fact, it seems that hearing I love you from somebody who is unavailable or who is committed to another person even makes it more thrilling.
From what I’ve learned from talking to some women, the fact that this man is married and says he loves them makes the relationship even more intense.
2. “I’m not happy in my marriage”
This is one of the most common lines used by men to justify their infidelity.
They make it seem like they are in a loveless and unhappy marriage, and that’s why they are seeking love and affection elsewhere.
While this may be the case for some, it is often just a ploy to keep the mistress around.
In reality, many men who claim to be unhappy in their marriages are actually quite content with their relationship status.
They use this line to manipulate their mistresses into thinking that they are the victims and need someone to rescue them.
Why would you cheat on your wife if you’re happy in your marriage?
It doesn’t make sense.
So, it sounds better to say that you’re unhappy in your marriage.
That’s more believable.
3. “I’m only staying for the kids”
Another classic one.
We all know that a lot of women stay in unhappy marriages for the sake of their children, but men use this line too.
They try to paint themselves as the selfless martyr, staying in a loveless marriage for the sake of their children.
But if you’re truly unhappy and seeking affection from someone else, it’s not just about the kids.
It’s about your own desires and needs.
And using your kids as an excuse is just another way to manipulate your mistress into thinking you are a good person.
4. “My wife doesn’t understand me”
Sorry to burst your bubble, but my husband doesn’t always understand me, and I don’t always understand him.
But that’s marriage.
That’s why we have forever to figure it out.
But married men who use this line on their mistresses make it seem like they are these deep, misunderstood creatures looking for someone to connect with.
They are just looking for an excuse to justify their infidelity.
And if your wife doesn’t understand you, maybe it’s because you’re not communicating properly or making an effort to fix any issues in your relationship.
5. “I’ll leave my wife for you”
This is probably one of the biggest lies married men tell their mistresses.
Okay, how about a reality check: If he truly wanted to leave his wife for you, he would have done it already.
Saying this is just another way for him to keep you hooked and use you for whatever it is he’s using you for.
But in the end, chances are he won’t leave his wife because he doesn’t really want to lose the security and stability of his marriage.
And even if he does, what guarantee do you have that he won’t do the same thing to you in the future?
Actions speak louder than words, dear.
6. “My wife doesn’t satisfy me”
Oh well, poor you.
A marriage involves two people, and if one person is unsatisfied, it’s likely because both parties are not putting in the effort to make each other happy.
But instead of working on their issues, these men seek satisfaction outside of their marriages and blame it on their wives.
It takes two to tango, and it takes effort to build and maintain a satisfying relationship.
But it’s easier for these men to shift the blame onto their wives instead of taking responsibility for their own actions.
7. “I’ve never felt this way before”
This line is used to make the mistress feel special and unique like she has somehow awakened something in this married man that no one else has been able to.
Really, even single men use this line to make a woman feel special.
I remember some guys who said this to me when I was still in the dating scene.
While it may be true that each relationship is different, using this line to justify cheating is just manipulative and insincere.
It’s just another way for these men to keep their mistresses feeling like they are in a once-in-a-lifetime love story – which, in reality, is not the case.
8. ”My marriage isn’t working out”
I understand that sometimes in marriage, things might feel like they are not working out.
Some days, I feel like my man is the best thing that’s happened to me since slice bread, and other days, well, let’s just say we won’t talk about those days.
But the thing is, it’s normal for couples to go through rough patches and difficult times.
It’s a part of any relationship, including marriage.
A man who wants to cheat and has found a woman he’s interested in will tell her this to validate his choice.
He’ll try to make it seem like his marriage is on the verge of collapsing, and that’s why he needs someone else.
It’s also a way of dangling a bit of hope in front of the mistress like he’s hinting at a future together.
“See, my marriage is almost over, so maybe there’s a chance for us?”
Oh yeah, right? *rolls eyeballs*
9. “I just want to be happy”
If anyone tells you they just want to be happy, especially with puppy dog eyes, you’d have to be a real monster to not feel for them.
A cheating married man knows this, and it’s one of the things he knows will get sympathy from his mistress.
And a mistress who doesn’t know any better will fall for this line.
Marriage isn’t always going to be a bed of roses, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to hurt their partner by seeking happiness outside of their marriage.
10. ”You make me feel young again”
Who doesn’t want to feel forever young?
Remember the song, ”Forever Young”?
I think it’s a song that captures the hearts of many.
We all want to feel young, wild, and free.
So when a married man tells his mistress this, he’s trying to appeal to her youthful side and make her feel special for helping him reliving his youth.
The funny thing is that it could be true, but not in the way he’s implying.
Yes, maybe the mistress makes him feel young again by making him do things or try new activities that he hasn’t done in a while.
But cheating on your spouse doesn’t make you younger or more exciting, sir, it just makes you a cheater.
11. ”My wife is always nagging me”
No one likes to be nagged.
It can make you feel like a child being scolded by its mother.
But is nagging enough reason to cheat on your spouse?
A man who uses this line is trying to make his mistress feel like he’s the victim in his marriage and she’s the savior.
He wants her to think that he’s emotionally neglected and needs someone to take care of him.
For a woman who is looking for a man to take care of, this is music to her ears.
But for the rest of us, it’s just another example of how married men manipulate their mistresses into thinking they are the ones in need.
12. ”You’re my soulmate”
Do I even need to explain why this line is so ridiculous?
First of all, if you were truly soulmates, he wouldn’t be married to someone else, or he would have ended things with his wife and pursued a relationship with you.
Even if by some chance you are soulmates, cheating on your spouse is not the way to go about it.
This phrase is just another way for a married man to make his mistress feel special and like she’s the only one who understands and connects with him on a deeper level.
These twelve things and many more are what a married man might say to his mistress, but these are usually nothing but manipulation tactics.
No matter how much flattery and flowery words he might use, the reality is that the woman has more to lose than gain by entering into such a situation.
This is not a love story.
It’s an affair, and there likely won’t be a happy ending for the lovers.