Never have I ever seen a bedroom scene in a movie that didn’t paint sex as an activity that can only bring pleasure and satisfaction.
With those Hollywood romcoms that depict couples having hot steamy sex at almost any opportunity setting our expectations for sexual experiences, many of us end up getting disappointed after our first experience.
It is basically easier for men to get satisfied sexually than women and this is an issue.
It’s an issue when one partner is contented while the other partner isn’t.
It’s a greater issue if the contented partner has tried their best to satisfy them sexually.
What causes a woman not to be sexually satisfied?
This question is a common one ringing in the hearts of many men and women.
Come along with me as we explore the various causes of sexual dissatisfaction in women, ranging from medical issues to relationship problems.
We will also be attempting to proffer solutions to these issues.
Let’s go!
What Causes A Woman Not To Be Sexually Satisfied?
1. Stress
When people say they are stressed, they mainly think that it only affects their mental output.
They think of it as just headaches and tiredness.
However, the effects of stress go way deeper than this.
Stress doesn’t just affect your mental process and output at work, it can also do a number on your libido.
Imagine being pulled in several different directions at once.
If this is you, it’s no wonder that you don’t seem to consider getting laid a priority.
The fact that you don’t get sexually satisfied and hence, don’t enjoy having sex may not be linked to any really deep reasons other than the fact that you are stressed.
To truly confirm this, if you have taken a vacation any time recently and you had sex during the vacation, compare it with how you feel now.
Is there a difference?
If there is, it is probably stress and not a medical problem.
You need to find ways to destress and you will discover that your sex life may just get back to normal.
2. Pain during sex
Pain can be a major factor in women not being sexually satisfied.
Pain during sex is like a warning sign telling you that there is something wrong especially if it’s not your first time having sex.
Pain is actually normal the first few times you have sex.
Whether it hurts you deeply or not, may be actually dependent on your partner and how well he understands the female anatomy.
However, after the first few times, it gets easier.
If you still feel pain during sex after a long time of being sexually active, it may just be a sign that you may be having some sort of medical issues around your pelvic area.
It will be advisable for you to see a doctor and discuss your symptoms with them.
It can be treated and you can get back to having a wonderful sex life.
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3. You are not ready to have sex before you do
I know you are shocked by this but it is true.
Sometimes, women engage in sexual activities even when they are not ready or are not even in the mood for it.
Why they do this can be linked to a variety of reasons…
Some of them are simply responding to the pressure of their partners.
Your partner is in the mood to have sex, hence, you must be in the mood too.
I understand that you may sometimes need to strike a mutually beneficial compromise, however, if you are not in the mood to have sex and you do, it may cause pain.
Sometimes, you may even be physically ready to have sex while you are not emotionally prepared for it.
For example, If you come home from a long day of work feeling anxious, upset, and overwhelmed and your partner tries to make sexual contact, you will most likely not be able to enjoy the sexual encounter.
Context and ambiance may be everything when it comes to sex.
And having sex when you are not ready for it may affect your ability to derive any form of satisfaction from the act.
4. Anxiety about your looks
Sex is a really intimate and vulnerable affair.
To truly enjoy it, you need to be comfortable in your skin…
Comfortable enough to forget whatever physical flaws you may have and just enjoy the experience.
If you are not comfortable in your skin to this extent, you may find it hard to derive satisfaction from sexual encounters.
To experience sexual pleasure, you need to be present in the moment.
If you are being insecure about your body, your mind will not be on how much you are enjoying your body and what you are experiencing.
To truly enjoy sex, you must learn to let yourself go and get lost in the ecstasy of the moment.
To overcome this, you may need to practice a little bit of self-affirmation.
Wake up every morning, stand in front of the mirror, and pick out those positive aspects of your appearance.
Dwell on these positive thoughts.
Before long, you will gradually begin to look at yourself in that positive light without much conscious effort.
5. Past traumatic sexual experience
It is possible to have sex with someone you love very much without being satisfied.
This is not because they are not skilled at satisfying ladies sexually but because you have had some past trauma related to sex that keeps depriving you of sexual pleasure.
If you are dealing with past sex trauma, your feelings of horror and terror may crop up before or during sex, making it hard for you to find satisfaction in sex.
If you were molested or raped as a kid, it may have damaged you so much that you may not seem to be able to derive any form of pleasure or satisfaction from sex.
If you belong to this category of people, you may need to try therapy.
Traumatic experiences from the past may be the reason why you freeze up and become rigid even when you love your partner.
Therapy sessions and help from your partner may be the way you get to kick this terrible situation and finally have a sexually fulfilling relationship.
6. You have naturally low libido
Sometimes, your lack of sexual satisfaction may be a result of a naturally low libido.
It is one thing to not be so interested in initiating sex but to be able to respond to it as soon as you get into it.
Low libido is different from this.
Low libido involves having low sexual drive even in the absence of underlying issues.
If this describes you, then seeing a doctor will help you.
There are a bunch of medications that can help put you in the right mood.
Of course, you should only get them with the prescription of a medical doctor.
7. Your partner doesn’t satisfy you
There are several reasons why you may not be sexually satisfied.
Some may have to do with you while others may involve your partner.
Sometimes, the reason you are not sexually satisfied may be because you have different expectations from that of your partner.
If your partner’s approach or desires in the bedroom don’t align with yours,
it can lead to dissatisfaction.
This may involve differences in frequency, intensity, or styles of sexual activities preferred by each partner.
This problem may be corrected by simple and honest communication of expectations.
But if communication is also an issue in the relationship, satisfaction in the bedroom may just be an impossible dream.
Your partner may also lack the necessary skills in bed.
This is not an insult to him.
Most of us have gone through that clumsy phase where we hardly know what we are doing.
Perhaps, he doesn’t invest enough time on foreplay or is just simply inattentive to your cues.
You can draw his attention to this by gently expressing your feelings to him and helping him improve himself.
To resolve this issue, you may need open and honest conversations with your partner, discovering ways to maximize mutual satisfaction and fulfillment.
There you have it.
The reasons a woman may not be sexually satisfied.
Some of these are medical issues while others are a result of psychological factors.
One thing remains constant, though.
Communication is key to finding solutions to your situation and living a life that is also sexually fulfilling.