Considering how important physical intimacy is in a marriage, why would a man stay in a sexless marriage?
Now, before I explain the reasons why a man might stay in a marriage like this, let me clarify what I mean by a “sexless marriage.”
The general consensus is that it’s a marriage where sexual intimacy is rare or completely absent.
But every relationship is unique, so definitions may vary from couple to couple.
So, why would a man stay in a sexless marriage?
Why Would A Man Stay In A Sexless Marriage?
1. He’s Emotionally Connected To His Wife
As hard as it may to believe, for some men, marriage is about more than just sex.
People marry for all sorts of reasons: love, emotional connection, companionship, and mutual goals, to name just a few.
When a man stays in a sexless marriage, it might be because the emotional connection is rock-solid.
Just like the myriad colors that make up a beautiful painting, love in a marriage isn’t solely defined by sexual intimacy.
Sexual intimacy is just one form of expressing love.
There are many others, like sharing dreams, supporting each other’s ambitions, and simply reveling in each other’s company.
And sometimes, these forms of intimacy can be enough and fulfilling for some men.
They find their emotional needs met in the marriage, and that’s why they stay.
They see their partner not just as a lover but as a friend, a confidant, their rock.
2. Kids and Family
Ask a lot of people in unhappy marriages why they stay, and the answer is often “for the kids.”
Children are a beautiful blessing in a marriage, but they can also complicate things.
For some men, staying in a sexless marriage becomes an act of selflessness and sacrifice.
They may not want their children to grow up with divorced parents or have their lives turned upside down by separation.
They choose to put their children’s well-being and stability above their own desires for sexual intimacy.
Although it may not be the ideal situation, some men make peace with it, knowing that they are giving their kids a stable family environment.
As a parent, I’ve come to learn that sometimes, the most selfless thing you can do is put your children’s needs above your own.
3. Fear of Change
Guys, change can be scary, especially when you’ve been accustomed to living a certain way for years.
In a sexless marriage, a man might stay because he fears change.
He may worry about what life will be like without his partner, how he’ll cope with being alone, and the uncertainty of starting over.
We all know that the dating scene these days isn’t a walk in the park.
Despite the increasing number of dating sites/websites, finding someone you connect with on a deeper level is tough!
It’s easier to find a hookup partner than it is to find someone who’ll stand by you no matter what.
And for some men, that fear of not finding someone who truly understands and supports them is enough to make them stay in a sexless marriage.
Can you blame them?
Not everyone is brave enough to take that leap of faith and embrace the unknown.
4. Financial Considerations
Life is expensive, and more so when you’re married.
There are bills to pay, food to put on the table, kids to raise, and future financial security to consider.
Unfortunately, divorce can be a costly affair – financially and emotionally.
Staying in a sexless marriage may be a better option than facing the burden of a divorce.
There’s also the possibility that one partner may be financially dependent on the other.
Leaving could mean losing financial stability and independence, which can make it challenging to move forward post-divorce.
So, for some men, staying in a sexless marriage is like choosing the lesser of two evils.
The financial stability of staying in the marriage outweighs the lack of intimacy.
5. Sense of Duty or Responsibility
Sometimes, what makes a man stay in a marriage is not love; it is duty.
He has made a vow to love and cherish his wife for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.
And he takes that vow seriously.
He’s made a commitment to his wife, and he intends to honor it no matter what.
Leaving the marriage would mean breaking his promise and going against his principles.
6. He Has Hope That Things Will Get Better
What is life without hope?
Hope makes life worth living, and it’s what helps us to keep going when life gets tough.
It’s the reason we hold on to a job we hate, hoping that it’ll get better.
It’s the reason we don’t give up on a relationship, even when it feels like everything is falling apart.
In a sexless marriage, some men have the hope that things will get better.
They may believe that their wife’s low libido is temporary and could improve in the future.
Or they might think that they can work on fixing the underlying issues causing the sexlessness in their marriage.
So, they choose to stay and hold on to the hope that things will improve.
7. Communication Gaps
Believe it or not, sometimes the issue is just that a couple hasn’t talked openly about their intimacy problems.
Do you know that some couples can talk about every other topic in the world, but when it comes to their sex life, it’s like taboo?
I get it; sexual intimacy is a sensitive topic that requires vulnerability, but every couple needs to be able to talk about it.
Get help if you need to, but you must be able to communicate with your partner about sex!
Lack of communication in a marriage can lead to misunderstandings, assumptions, and resentment, even relating to sex.
Perhaps the reason why a man stays in a sexless marriage is that he hasn’t found the right time or approach to discuss the issue with his wife.
Or maybe he’s afraid of how she’ll react if he brings it up
So he stays in the marriage, hoping that somehow things will magically improve without having to confront their problems head-on.
8. Self-Respect and Self-Worth
As a woman, it’s easy to assume that if your husband is staying in your sexless marriage, he must not find you attractive or desire you.
But that’s far from the truth.
Men who choose to stay in a sexless marriage may do so because they value their self-respect and self-worth.
Leaving the marriage could mean being labeled as a failure or not being able to fulfill their marital duties.
So rather than risk damaging their self-esteem or enduring shame and embarrassment, some men choose to stay in the marriage and try to make the best of it.
9. His Wife Has Been Good To Him In Other Ways
Lastly, a man may stay in a sexless marriage because his wife has been good to him in other areas of their relationship.
She’s supportive, loving, caring, and an excellent partner overall.
And though the lack of sexual intimacy may be a problem, he’s willing to overlook it because she fulfills him in other ways.
He may feel that staying in the marriage is his way of showing appreciation and gratitude for all her other efforts.
There are many reasons why a man would stay in a sexless marriage.
Some of these reasons may seem understandable, while others may be difficult to wrap our heads around.
But at the end of the day, we must remember that every relationship is unique and complex.
What works for one couple may not work for another.
As long as both partners are committed to making their marriage work and are open and honest in their communication, they can overcome any obstacles together.
So, if you’re a man in a sexless marriage, don’t be afraid to seek help and talk to your partner about your concerns.
And if you’re a woman whose husband is in a sexless marriage, try to understand his perspective and be open to finding solutions together.
A strong and healthy marriage takes effort from both partners, but it’s worth fighting for.
So don’t give up hope just yet.