Not everyone is willing to share their experiences on cheating, but we are fortunate to have one of our loyal readers share his story with us.
We hope you enjoy reading:
11 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Cheated on My Wife
1. I thought I wouldn’t get caught, but women are more intuitive than men
We’ve all heard the phrase “women’s intuition” before, but I never really took it seriously.
Just like many men who cheat, I thought I wouldn’t get caught, I thought I could keep the affair under wraps.
If you are a man reading this, believe me when I say intuition isn’t just a myth or a superpower from a comic book.
It’s a real, palpable sense that our wives have honed over time.
Women often have a keen sense of when something’s off in a relationship, picking up on subtle changes in behavior, patterns, and emotional disconnects.
I thought my wife wouldn’t notice because, just like most wives and mothers, she was busy with her career and taking care of our children.
But I was wrong; my dear wife noticed every little detail, and eventually, the truth came out.
I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say she knew about the other woman before I even admitted it.
If you love your wife and you care about your marriage, but you’re tempted to cheat, remember this: women notice when the usual routine gets disrupted, when affection is no longer genuine, and when the stories told don’t line up.
2. The thrill is temporary, but the guilt is forever
I won’t lie; there was a certain excitement that came with having an affair.
The secrecy, sneaking around, and feeling like I was getting away with something gave me an adrenaline rush.
But that thrill was short-lived, and the guilt was overwhelming.
Every time I looked at my wife, I couldn’t help but feel like a complete and utter disappointment, even before she found out.
And when she eventually discovered, I felt terrible that I had broken her trust, hurt her deeply, and caused her pain that she didn’t deserve.
And even though I ended the affair and promised to change my ways, the guilt still lingers.
I wish I had known that the temporary excitement wasn’t worth the long-term consequences and damage to my relationship.
3. It’s not just physical, it’s emotional too
When I first started cheating, I convinced myself that it was purely physical.
At that time, I was just bored with my marriage and wanted some excitement.
But as the affair continued, I realized that it was more than just physical; there was an emotional connection, too.
We would talk about our lives and our problems, and even share intimate details that I never shared with my wife.
This is the part where I confess that I’m glad my wife found out.
Because I don’t think I would have ended the affair on my own if she hadn’t.
I was getting emotionally involved with this woman, and that’s a line I never wanted to cross.
Cheating isn’t just about having sex with someone else; it’s about giving a part of yourself to someone who isn’t your spouse, and that emotional betrayal is just as damaging, if not more so, than the physical aspect.
4. Trust is Easier to Break Than Repair
Even though this incident happened five years ago, my wife still has trust issues with me.
I don’t blame her; I broke her trust, and that’s not something that can be easily fixed.
It takes time, effort, and consistent actions to rebuild trust after cheating.
And even then, sometimes the damage is irreparable.
I wish I had known how valuable trust is in a relationship and how easily it can be broken.
Once trust is shattered, it’s like trying to rebuild a mirror; you can piece it back together, but the cracks are always visible.
Five years later, I’m still trying to earn back my wife’s trust and prove to her that I am a changed man.
5. The other woman is not the answer
When I first met the other woman, I was convinced that she was the answer to all my problems.
Not like she was a new woman anyway; she was a coworker and married, too.
I honestly thought she was a safer choice because she was married, and therefore, we shared the same risks.
When we started, she made me feel wanted, desired, and alive again.
I guess I did the same for her, too, because as I later got to know during our sharing moments, she had been in a sexless marriage for two years.
My marriage wasn’t sexless, but things had become too predictable and routine.
So, in a way, we were both using each other to fill a void in our marriages.
But the truth is, no matter how amazing the other person may seem at first, they are not the answer to your problems.
Cheating solves nothing; it only creates more issues and hurts more people.
The guilt, the risk of getting caught, and the constant fear of her husband finding out consumed me.
Even if I had left my wife for her, our relationship would have been built on a foundation of deceit and betrayal.
6. You lose your wife’s respect
One thing I never considered before cheating was how my actions would affect my wife’s respect for me.
I always thought that as long as I provided for my family, was a good father, and didn’t physically harm her, she would always respect me.
But when my affair came to light, she lost all respect for me.
She saw me in a different light, and it wasn’t a flattering one.
Instead of being her partner, best friend, and confidant, I became the man who betrayed her trust and broke her heart.
I wish I had known how important respect is in a marriage.
It’s not something that automatically comes with fulfilling your duties as a husband; it’s something you earn through your actions and behavior.
And once you lose it, it’s challenging to regain it.
I think losing her respect hurts me more than losing her trust.
7. It affects your children
I always thought that my affair wouldn’t affect my children because they were too young to understand.
But the truth is, even if they don’t fully comprehend what happened, they can sense when something’s wrong in their parents’ relationship.
Children can sense when you are faking affection, when you’re not truly happy, and when there’s tension between their parents.
I’m grateful to my wife for keeping it together and not letting our children see the turmoil in our marriage.
They knew something wasn’t right, but they didn’t know what.
I’m glad we are able to give them the happy atmosphere they deserve now.
I never want to be the reason for their pain and confusion again.
8. Honesty may not lead to forgiveness
Coming clean doesn’t always lead to a happy ending; some things can’t be unheard or forgotten.
I thought that if I told my wife the truth and apologized, she would forgive me, and we could move on.
But it’s not that easy.
When you cheat, you break a promise to your spouse – a promise of loyalty, trust, and fidelity.
It’s up to them whether they want to give you another chance or not.
And even if they do, it takes a lot of work from both parties to move past the betrayal and rebuild the relationship.
I wish I had known that honesty doesn’t automatically erase the damage caused by cheating.
It’s just the first step in a long, difficult process of healing and rebuilding.
I was fortunate that my wife was willing to give me another chance, but not everyone is as lucky.
9. It’s a cycle you need to break
Cheating is a vicious cycle.
It may start with just one mistake or one moment of weakness, but it can quickly become addictive.
After the initial excitement and thrill of cheating wears off, you may find yourself seeking out more affairs to fill the void or escape from your problems.
It becomes a toxic coping mechanism, and before you know it, you’re trapped in a cycle of cheating and hurting the people you love.
I’m glad that, through the help of my wife, I wasn’t trapped in that cycle.
Cheating is not a one-time mistake; it’s a choice that can become a habit if you’re not careful.
10. It Changes You
Cheating doesn’t only change your relationship; it changes you as a person.
It makes you question your morals, values, and character.
I used to pride myself on being a loyal and trustworthy person, but after cheating on my wife, I couldn’t see myself in the same light.
I felt guilt, shame, and disgust with myself.
It’s not something you can easily shake off or forget; it’s a part of your history that will always be with you.
11. It’s never worth it
In the heat of the moment, cheating may seem like the solution to all your problems.
But trust me, it’s not.
The temporary happiness and excitement you feel are nothing compared to the long-term consequences and pain caused by cheating.
It will damage your relationship, hurt your loved ones, and change you as a person.
Before you cheat, I hope you’ll remember this message and think twice.
Cheating is a choice, not a mistake.
And once you make that choice, there’s no turning back.
So before you risk losing everything for a moment of pleasure or escape, ask yourself if it’s worth it.