Have you ever been dating a guy and thought, “Hmm, this could be it?”
But then slowly but surely, you realize he might not be as great as you thought?
If so, you may have been dating a player.
A player is someone who dates many people at the same time and doesn’t really have any intentions of settling down with anyone.
A player is also someone who intentionally seduces women into becoming emotionally attached to them so they can sleep with them on the reg without having to deal with the potential repercussions of leading these women on.
There are several traits they share.
They’re good-looking guys who enjoy going out and partying.
They aren’t looking for relationships; they tend to be very popular with women; and they’re manipulative in their interactions with women.
Guys like this can sometimes be hard to spot, but once you know what to look for, you’ll be able to see signs he is a player.
Here are some telltale signs that he might be just playing games with your heart:
25 Warning Signs He is a Player
1. He keeps you guessing
If he’s always keeping you guessing, it can be hard to trust him.
When you’re in love, you feel secure with your partner and know they have no reason to stray.
A player will make sure you don’t feel this way by keeping his feelings and intentions ambiguous at all times.
A player knows that when a woman says she wants honesty and communication in her relationship, she really means she wants him to be honest and communicate with her.
The player knows how to do that – just not very often.
You’ll get just enough information to keep you coming back for more, but never enough to tip the scales in your favor in terms of you leaving him for someone else or realizing what he is – a shallow guy who’s only interested in himself and his own needs.
2. He only wants to hang out when it’s convenient for him
Players make plans on their own terms, then cancel or change them at the last minute when something better comes along.
They do this because they want to keep their options open and maintain control of their free time.
They’ll cancel on a whim or for little to no reason, leaving you hanging or making plans with someone else.
He doesn’t seem too concerned about how his actions affect other people or why they might be upset by his behavior, so it’s not likely he’ll be sorry if he hurts your feelings.
3. You feel the need to compete with his past relationships
It’s not a good thing when there’s another girl in the picture.
You may feel like you’re competing with someone, which is never a good feeling.
If he loves to talk about his past relationships and brag about them, it can be hurtful and make you question whether or not he is really interested in you, or if he just wants a hookup.
Guys who are players often brag about how many women they’ve been with and tend to give off this bad boy persona.
They might even talk about how hurt people get when they’re done with them, but they don’t seem to care.
He might say things like, “I’ve got a lot of female friends” or “Women love me.”
If he thinks other women are interested in him and tries to use that as an excuse for his behavior, this is usually a sign of a player.
He wants you to think other girls are attracted to him so that you won’t suspect anything when he goes out with them.
4. He’s not interested in knowing your family and friends
He never seems to be interested in getting to know your friends, family, or co-workers —or vice versa— unless they can do something for him, like get him into a concert or help with his career.
In fact, he gets jealous of other relationships in your life.
The only people he’s interested in getting to know are those who can advance his status through their connections or money.
5. His actions don’t match his words
A player will never be completely honest with you.
He’ll act interested in you, but then will say or do something that lets you know he’s not being truthful.
This type of guy will always keep a little bit of distance between you and him so that if things go wrong, he can quickly make an exit.
He might even have a lot of friends around him so he doesn’t have to actually commit to anything.
You can’t trust what he tells you is true because he tends to change his story or lie easily.
6. You catch him talking to other girls on social media
This is a huge red flag.
Guys who play games like this like attention from as many people as possible, whether it be girls or guys.
His social media is full of girls.
If you catch him talking to other girls on social media, he could just be wasting his time flirting with them instead of focusing more on you.
So, don’t be surprised if his cell phone is full of text messages from other women and girls that are nothing but flirty messages or photos sent between them.
7. He’s self-centered
A player only seems to care about himself and what he wants.
He doesn’t care about what you want, but only wants to do things to make himself happy
He only wants to talk or hang out when it’s convenient for him.
He’ll never go out of his way to make you happy.
He’s a bad listener, and it shows how selfish and uninterested he is in you.
You send him your favorite song over text to tell him about something awesome that happened to you today, and he just texts back, “Cool.”
Or maybe you tell him about how one of your friends from high school is doing, and he responds with a sentence or two about what his plans for Saturday night are before abruptly changing the subject back to himself.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone who has confidence in himself, but if your guy is constantly interrupting your stories to talk about his own life or gets frustrated when you talk too much about yours, it’s a red flag!
8. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends and family
Guys who play games like this often hide their relationships because they don’t want other people in their lives to know what they’re up to or that they’re even dating someone else.
If he doesn’t want to introduce you into his life, it could be because he doesn’t want you to know about his other relationships or that he’s hiding what he’s up to from everyone so the truth won’t come out.
9. He’s always checking out other girls
Although it’s not uncommon for guys to check out other girls as a way to flirt with their current girlfriend or as a joke to make them jealous, a player will always have his eyes on someone else.
Guys who are players tend to be really into looks and often only date someone if they’re pretty or fit.
If your guy is constantly checking out other women or even flirting with others in front of you, then you should take it as a sign that he might be interested in other women more than he’s interested in you.
10. He doesn’t treat you with respect
Another sign that your guy might be a player is if he doesn’t respect you or treats you badly.
A player will do whatever he can to get what he wants from you, even if that means treating you poorly or disrespecting your wishes.
He gets defensive every time you get upset over something he did or said because he doesn’t think he did anything wrong.
It doesn’t matter how mad you get at him, because he just doesn’t seem to care about how his actions affect others.
If your man doesn’t respect you and won’t listen to what you have to say, then it’s probably because he sees you as an object instead of someone who has feelings and opinions.
11. He makes promises he doesn’t keep
Players are never really invested in seeing a relationship through because they don’t want to get hurt or put their hearts on the line.
When it comes to making plans, he’ll always find an excuse not to show up for whatever you had planned together.
He makes plans with you, but it’s always “something” that gets in the way.
The first few times he cancels on you, he’ll apologize profusely and make up for it by taking you out somewhere fancy the next night.
But after the tenth time he does this, you know he doesn’t really care about seeing you altogether.
12. He values his friends over your relationship
If he puts your relationship second to his friends or family, it’s a sign that he isn’t ready for commitment — even if he says otherwise.
You’re always second best and third in line.
13. He’s always on his phone
If a guy is glued to his cell phone, it’s because he’s probably texting.
Or maybe emailing.
Or Facebooking.
But in all likelihood, he’s communicating with someone other than you.
Maybe he has a girlfriend.
Maybe he has multiple girlfriends.
But a player’s phone screen is usually full of notifications from girls.
14. He’s specific about meeting times and places
If a guy is a player, he will never want to be seen with you in public and will hardly ever call you.
He will only text you when he wants something or if he wants to see you.
He never wants to hang out in person and only texts you about something specific like meeting up at the movies (or whatever).
15. His activities are vague
A guy who’s a player doesn’t want you to know what he’s up to.
If he talks about what he does with his time, it’s usually vague or boring stuff like “I’m chilling” or “just working”.
16. His friends
Guys who are players tend to have other players for friends.
”Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.”
”Birds of a feather flock together.”
If the only time you ever see him spending time with guys is when they’re out with a group of girls, that says something.
It could be innocent — maybe they’re just friends — but it could also suggest common interests between the guys and the girls, and that they tend to move in groups.
17. He’s a narcissist
More than likely, you’ll find that this guy is a little narcissistic and has a very high opinion of himself.
He doesn’t want to settle down, but he knows that he can have any woman he wants.
He’s always one step ahead of the game and has mastered the art of persuasion in relationships.
He might even persuade you to borrow him your car or money.
He always needs something from you, but never gives anything back in return.
This is especially true if he constantly asks for favors without reciprocating or if he uses guilt trips to get his way (e.g., “I thought we were friends…”).
If he never takes an interest in your life or makes efforts to support you, you are being played, sis!
18. He doesn’t talk about his future
If your guy doesn’t talk about the future with you, then that means he doesn’t really want a future with you.
Even if he does, it’s all lies.
He just wants to tell you what you want to hear.
19. When you text him, he takes forever to respond or doesn’t answer at all
The guy doesn’t want to commit and will avoid you at all costs.
This is why he might not respond to any of your texts.
He doesn’t want to engage you because he doesn’t want you to get too attached, which can lead to falling in love.
His solution is to ignore you so that way you’ll get the message loud and clear that he doesn’t want anything serious with you.
Keep in mind, however, that just because a guy is responding to your texts doesn’t mean he’s not seeing anyone else.
Some players are masters at the game.
20. He is protective of his phone
Guys who are into you tend to want to spend as much time with you as possible.
They’re not worried about having their phone on them at all times.
It’s a sign that they aren’t afraid to let you into their life, and that they don’t have any secrets or anything to hide.
A guy who is trying to play games with you will be less inclined to let you see his phone and he’ll constantly be looking at it.
He is probably talking to other girls too, and he doesn’t want you knowing about it.
Also, if he speaks to women on the phone and he jumps up suddenly and says “I’ll be right back” when he doesn’t even know where he is going, it’s a sign that he is stepping out on you or talking to another woman.
As a matter of fact, he might not reveal his social media accounts.
He may seem hesitant to hand over his Facebook or Twitter username when you ask for it.
A man who has nothing to hide wouldn’t mind letting someone else see what he’s up to, but if he’s hiding something, giving out that information would make it easier for you to snoop on him and discover the truth.
If he refuses flat out, be wary — it could mean that he’s trying to hide something from you.
21. He’s a smooth talker
He’s a smooth talker, good-looking and funny.
He can charm you in the blink of an eye.
He says all the right things and makes you feel like you’re the center of his universe.
Players can make women feel really special when they want something from them, but once they get what they need, they’re outta there.
22. His phone is always going off in the middle of your conversation with him
If his phone is constantly going off when you are talking with him, it might be that he’s talking to other women.
23. Trouble with commitment
He won’t be able to commit to anything or anyone for too long.
Whether it’s a relationship, a job or even just a simple phone call, he will not be able to focus his energy on one thing for very long.
He gets bored easily in relationships and can become distant.
He’ll lose interest in the little things and start looking elsewhere for excitement after a while.
A guy like this will do anything he can to delay the relationship or keep it at the level where there’s no commitment or expectations.
Players know that if they commit to a girl, she’s probably going to want to settle down and get serious, which is exactly what they don’t want.
24. You feel like he’s always trying to get into your pants
You want to date a guy who likes you for who you are, not just the fact that you have a v*gina.
A player has no interest in anything other than getting in your pants, whereas an actual nice guy will be willing to put in some effort to win your heart.
This can include when he tries to talk you into something before really getting to know you as a person (like hooking up on the first date) or when he makes a move on you and won’t take no for an answer.
If he’s more interested in your body than your heart, this is a major sign that he’s only after one thing: s*x with no strings attached.
It may feel good at first because these guys are skilled at what they do, but eventually, it will feel empty and hollow, and you’ll just be left wondering what your relationship is all about.
25. You feel something is wrong
If you start to feel like something isn’t right, listen to your gut.
Our instincts are there for a reason—to guide us from making terrible choices.
A guy who is a player is going to do his best to convince you that all the other girls are crazy and you are the greatest thing that ever happened to him.
But even if he’s convincing, these signs will convince you that he is a player.
What do you do?
Ask yourself what you really want.
If he’s not what you want, take a bold step and make a choice that’ll preserve your sanity.
