Ending a relationship is difficult, but it can be even more complicated when you’re still in love with someone and don’t want to break up.
It can be hard accepting that a relationship is over because we’re social creatures who often rely on relationships for our happiness and well-being.
But sometimes, ending things is the healthiest option for all parties involved — even if it doesn’t feel like it.
So your relationship is over, and you’re heartbroken.
You know you need to get over them and move on with your life, but how?
Here are some tips on how to accept that a relationship is over:
Accepting That a Relationship is Over: Tips for Moving On
1. Accept that the relationship is over
When relationships end, people often find themselves stuck in denial.
They don’t want to admit that their love is gone, and they’d rather live in hope than reality.
Don’t keep looking for signs that it’s not over.
You may have to acknowledge that you’re going to miss being in a relationship and accept that you’re not going to be in one for the foreseeable future.
Don’t keep replaying the relationship in your head, wishing things had turned out differently, or rehashing all that went wrong.
2. Accept the fact that you can’t change their mind
When someone else chooses to end a relationship, it can be hard to accept that the relationship is over.
You may feel like there’s some way you can convince them to stay and keep trying.
You might feel like if only you could get them to listen, they would change their mind.
This is not always true.
Accepting that a relationship is over means accepting that someone doesn’t want to be with you anymore and that nothing you say or do will change this fact.
It’s important to recognize that when someone else chooses not to be in a relationship with us — whether it’s a romantic relationship or any other kind — it has very little to do with us.
It has to do with them and how they see themselves and the world around them.
Even if we’ve done something wrong (like cheated on our partner), it’s still not about us: it’s about how our partner sees our actions and whether they are willing or able to forgive us for it.
3. Bond with friends and family
Spend time with your friends and family members — people who love you unconditionally — when you’re feeling down.
If they don’t know that your relationship has ended, let them in on it so they can support you during this difficult time.
They’re sure to remind you of all the good things about yourself, which will help counter any negative thoughts you may have.
We all need a support system every time, especially during challenging moments.
4. Do things that will lift your mood and make you feel better about yourself
Go shopping, get a new haircut, or treat yourself to a spa day.
Doing things that lift your mood will distract you from your pain and help you accept that your relationship is over.
5. Be realistic about what you deserve
You may have spent so long in a bad relationship that you don’t know what it’s like to be with someone who treats you well.
If your partner has been abusive, disrespectful, or unsupportive, think about how better off you will be without them.
You deserve someone who loves and respects you and makes you feel good about yourself.
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6. Delete their number from your phone, throw away any reminders of them and block them from social media
This might sound extreme, but it’s only temporary – until you feel strong enough not to contact them again.
Unfollow your ex on Twitter and Facebook, and don’t add them on LinkedIn, no matter how many connections you have in common.
Because seeing them pop up in your newsfeed will hurt every time.
Deleting their phone number and blocking them on social media will reduce the temptation to stalk them online.
Don’t stalk their new partners online, either.
If you can’t resist the temptation to see what they’re up to, then log out of Facebook or Twitter or delete the app from your phone altogether while you’re getting over them.
7. Avoid places where you might bump into your ex
Avoid going to places where there’s a chance they could be there.
If necessary, make excuses to friends who want you to go out to such places before being ready to face the world again.
8. Put the focus back on you
Focus on your hobbies and goals.
One of the best ways to get over a breakup is to distract yourself with something else you enjoy.
Try getting back into an activity you used to love or pick up something new to keep your mind off the breakup.
For example, if you used to enjoy biking, go for a ride around your neighborhood.
If you’ve always wanted to learn how to knit, sign up for a knitting class at your local craft store.
If you love reading, buy more books or join a book club.
You could also try throwing yourself into work by taking on extra projects or responsibilities at your job.
Do activities that boost your mood and make you feel good about yourself to focus on the positive parts of life instead of dwelling on the breakup.
9. Focus on their flaws
As hard as it is to acknowledge, everyone has faults.
Your ex is not an exception.
You probably remember all the good things about your ex.
You might have romanticized them a little bit in your mind, and they may have even appeared to be perfect while you were together.
So it can be easy to believe that you’re the problem and that if you were just better, more attractive, or more intelligent, you could have made the relationship work.
But remind yourself that your ex had many faults, too — ones that you may not even realize because you became accustomed to them during your relationship.
For example:
They were stubborn or set in their ways
They didn’t communicate well with you
They didn’t put enough effort into making the relationship work
They were lazy
They were not affectionate enough etc.,
Reminding yourself of your ex’s flaws will help you put things into perspective, and maybe you’ll realize the breakup is a blessing in disguise.
Also, focusing on their imperfections will make you realize you deserve better.
10. Don’t force yourself to feel okay
It’s okay to be angry and disappointed.
Know that it’s okay to be sad for a while.
It’s okay to cry until you have no tears left.
Don’t try to deny or suppress your feelings.
Let it all out.
This will help you to move on.
11. Talk to a therapist
If you think you need professional help, make an appointment with a therapist or counselor specializing in relationships and ask for help with the next steps.
The therapist can help you see things differently and assist you, and support you through the breakup process.
12. Try journaling
To accept that your relationship is over and move on, try writing down all your thoughts, memories, and feelings about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend on paper.
This way, you can get them out, so you won’t feel like you are holding anything back.
Try to focus on everything that went wrong in the relationship, and don’t worry about being too harsh or critical when writing this down.
It’s not going to be read by anyone but yourself, so don’t hold back anything.
Afterward, take a deep breath and rip up or burn whatever you write, so there isn’t any evidence left behind.
This will give closure while also allowing closure in your mind as well!
Letting go of someone is usually very painful and can be very difficult.
You will most likely experience a wide range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, and jealousy.
You may even have trouble sleeping and concentrating at work.
It’s important to remember that all of these feelings are normal and will pass in time.
13. Take a trip to a place you’ve never been before and clear your head
Getting away from the familiar and going to a new place can work wonders on your mind.
If you can afford it, you can go on a vacation to another city or country.
And if this is not an option, you can stay with a friend or family for a few days.
You can even stay in a hotel for a few days to clear your mind and experience being in a different setting.
A change of environment might be of great help.
14. Get rid of any reminders of them in your house/room
Get rid of anything that reminds you of them-pictures, songs, gifts, etc.,
You can return to them the things you consider too valuable to discard.
Accepting the end of a relationship takes courage and strength.
It can be harrowing, especially if the split was unexpected, but accepting the situation is the first step toward recovery.
Accepting that a relationship is over doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re strong enough to let go.
You’ll miss being in a relationship, but eventually, you’ll be over them.
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