One of the costly assumptions we make in marriage is thinking that we know what our spouse wants in bed.
We assume we know what turns them on and keeps them satisfied, but this is sometimes far from the truth.
For husbands who want to make sure their wife feels loved and appreciated in the bedroom, here are some things she wishes you’d do:
11 Things Your Wife Wishes You’d Do in Bed
1. Listen and Learn
Men, being men, usually think they know what women want.
It’s called mansplaining.
However, when it comes to sex, your wife is the expert on what she likes and dislikes.
I know we often like to put people in boxes, but every woman is unique and has her own preferences in bed.
So instead of assuming you know what she wants because that’s what women like, ask her and listen to her response.
You might be shocked to find out that what you thought was a surefire way to turn her on actually turns her off.
No, seriously.
I’m a woman, and I can tell you that not every woman likes the same things, no matter how overhyped they are in movies, books, on social media, or in real life.
An example?
I’m a woman, and I don’t like my man going down on me.
I just don’t enjoy it as much as other women do.
Maybe I’m self-conscious or overly sensitive, or maybe it’s just not my thing.
So instead of assuming your wife will love everything you see in movies or read in magazines, communicate with her and learn what she enjoys.
2. Take Your Time
In today’s fast-paced world, we are constantly rushing from one thing to the next.
This can also translate into our sex lives, where we may feel pressure to perform quickly and move on to the next task.
But for your wife, sex is not just a physical act but an emotional connection.
She wants you to take your time and savor each moment of intimacy with her.
Instead of jumping straight into penetration, focus on foreplay and build up the anticipation.
Explore each other’s bodies, try new things, and make sure to communicate with each other throughout.
Your wife will appreciate the effort and attention you put into enhancing your intimacy.
I know that as couples with kids, sometimes we are lucky to get a quickie, but make sure to also schedule in time for longer and more sensual sessions.
3. Embrace Spontaneity
So, there’s going to be a bit of TMI here.
Some months ago, my husband traveled for two weeks, and it was the longest we’ve ever been apart since we got married.
I never thought I would miss him that much and that he would miss me that much as well.
When he got back from his trip, and after setting down his luggage, I didn’t expect that he would make a move on me that fast.
It was so spontaneous, and I loved it.
You know, I still remember that moment with such fondness, and it made me realize just how important spontaneity is in a marriage, especially in the bedroom.
When we have been with our partner for so long, sex can easily become predictable and routine.
But your wife craves excitement and spontaneity in the bedroom.
Surprise her with a romantic gesture or initiate sex at an unexpected time.
It will help break the monotony and keep things exciting between you two.
It doesn’t have to be wild or out of a movie, just something unexpected to keep the sparks flying.
4. Cuddles and Aftercare
Sex is not just about the physical act but also about the emotional connection and intimacy between partners.
After sex, your wife wants to feel loved and cared for.
Taking the time to cuddle and provide aftercare shows her that you value her and the experience you shared together.
This can include talking about what you enjoyed, kissing, or simply holding each other in a loving embrace.
It will help strengthen your bond and make her feel cherished and satisfied.
Instead of picking up your phone (I’m guilty of this too) or falling asleep right after, dedicate a few moments to just be present with your wife.
Of course, it’s okay for both of you to clean up after; post-coital hygiene is key, but after that, spend a few moments together.
It doesn’t have to be necessarily long —just enough for both of you to catch your breath and bask in the afterglow.
5. Communicate Your Desires
Just like your wife wants you to listen and learn about her desires, she also wants you to communicate your own.
Many men may feel embarrassed or ashamed to discuss their sexual fantasies, but trust me, your wife wants to know.
She wants to please you and fulfill your desires, and open communication allows for that.
It can also lead to trying new things and keeping the excitement alive in your sex life.
Every good wife wants to make her husband happy in every way, including in the bedroom.
So don’t be afraid to share your desires and work together to make them a reality.
6. Introduce Variety
As mentioned earlier, sex can easily become routine when you’ve been with someone for a long time.
But variety is the spice of life, and it’s no different in the bedroom.
Your wife wants you to shake things up and introduce new elements into your sex life.
This can be as simple as trying out different positions or incorporating toys, role-playing, or other forms of kink.
Step outside of your comfort zone and discover new ways to pleasure each other.
Just make sure to respect each other’s boundaries and always communicate before trying something new.
7. Make Her Feel Desired
Women often deal with body image issues and insecurities, especially in the bedroom.
One of the ways you can make your wife feel confident and sexy is by showing her how much you desire her.
Compliment her, both in and out of the bedroom.
Touch her affectionately and make sure she knows that she turns you on.
It will boost her self-esteem and make her feel more comfortable and open in the bedroom.
Most men will often say, ”I love my wife. She knows I love her.”
But your wife needs to hear it and feel it.
8. Be Romantic
When some men hear the word ‘romance,’ what comes to mind is a huge, elaborate gesture involving flowers, chocolates, and grand gestures.
But for your wife, romance can be as simple as a heartfelt compliment or small acts of affection throughout the day.
It’s not just reserved for special occasions; making her feel loved and desired should be an everyday thing.
Surprise her with a romantic date night or simply cuddle on the couch and watch her favorite movie.
These small gestures will make your wife feel special and appreciated, making her more receptive to intimacy.
9. Be Present
In today’s busy world, it’s easy to get distracted by work, social media, or other obligations.
But when you’re with your wife in bed, be present and in the moment.
Put away your distractions and focus on connecting with her physically and emotionally.
Listen to her, pay attention to her body language, and be responsive to her needs.
It’s about quality, not just quantity.
10. Pay Attention to Her Whole Body
Oh, this!
I love this because it’s what I remind my husband from time to time.
Your wife’s body is not just her sexual organs, and it’s important to pay attention to her whole body during intimacy.
Kiss her neck, caress her back, and explore all of her erogenous zones.
Admire her body, adore it.
It’s not just about the obvious zones.
Explore and appreciate her entire body.
This kind of attention can make her feel cherished and desire you even more.**
11. Take Care of Your Health
Your wife cannot enjoy her sex life with you if she’s not attracted to you.
You have a role to play in ensuring that she’s attracted to you.
So, take care of your health in the physical, mental, and emotional sense.
Some couples have stopped kissing because of bad hygiene from one partner.
Set up a good grooming routine for yourself and maintain it.
Take personal development seriously.
Women love smart men, men they can learn from.
Be a true leader and inspiration to your wife.
Just be a respectably decent partner in every sense.
Then you will have no problem being the love of her life and captivating her heart for a long time.
Every woman is different, but I’m sure no woman will frown at these tips because they all apply to some extent.
I hope you take these pointers and use them to your advantage.