It is becoming increasingly difficult to avoid s*x before marriage in the world we live in today.
S*x is everywhere, and it’s hard to avoid it — literally.
But the good news is that you can be abstinent!
You can practice celibacy and have a beautiful relationship.
If you are trying not to have s*x before marriage, there will inevitably be times when you find yourself in a compromising situation where something sexual is happening or about to happen with someone who isn’t your spouse (or someday soon-to-be spouse).
In those moments, what should you do?
How can you avoid having s*x when temptation strikes us?
Here are some helpful tips on how to avoid sex before marriage:
How to Avoid Sex Before Marriage
1. Have a Partner Who Shares Your Moral and Religious Beliefs
The best way to avoid s*x before marriage is to have a partner who shares your moral and religious beliefs.
Many people are willing to wait until marriage, but they may not know where to find such a person.
In this case, the best thing you can do is be open about your own beliefs, and look for a partner who shares them.
This is the best way to ensure that you won’t be pressured or tempted into having s*x before marriage.
It will ensure that both of you are on the same page and none slips up and sabotages the other’s efforts
Really, one of the worst things you can do is to date someone who doesn’t share your commitment to chastity.
This is a sure road to heartache and sexual frustration.
If a person doesn’t believe in waiting until marriage, they are not going to help you wait.
In fact, it’s quite likely that they’ll pressure you into having s*x with them because they don’t want to wait either.
Dating is supposed to be fun and exciting, but if you’re doing it with someone who doesn’t share your values, then it’s just going to leave you frustrated and unsatisfied.
You deserve a partner who shares your moral and religious beliefs.
You deserve a partner who wants the same things out of life that you do.
You deserve a partner who is willing to wait until marriage with you.
2. Discuss Your Expectations With Your Partner
Discuss what you expect from each other.
Be clear on the fact that you will not have s*x before marriage, and make sure that your partner agrees.
If you don’t discuss this, they may think that it is okay to pressure you into having s*x.
Don’t assume anything when it comes to your relationship, even if you’re both Christians.
Discussing your expectations is important because it shows that you respect each other enough to talk about difficult subjects.
It also assures that there won’t be any misunderstandings later on down the road.
3. Accept The Fact That There Will Be Challenges Along The Way
Being abstinent won’t always be easy, but remind yourself of why you made this decision in the first place.
If there’s temptation, take a break for a moment and talk about it with your partner.
It’s important that you are open with each other about your emotions so that no one is getting hurt or being misled.
4. Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
You may have to set boundaries together and stick to them.
Some couples have rules about how much physical contact they allow themselves, such as no kissing on the lips or no touching each other’s sensitive body parts in private settings.
If you’re not sure what to do, talk together about what you feel comfortable with and where you draw the line.
5. Keep Your Eyes Open
A great way to avoid temptation is to stay out of situations that could tempt you.
If you know being alone together will lead you into temptations, don’t put yourself in that situation.
Plan dates that won’t leave you alone and vulnerable to temptation, such as double dates or group activities.
6. Be Honest With Each Other about Your Weaknesses, Temptations, and Struggles with Lust
It takes humility to admit our faults and weaknesses, but it’s an important step toward avoiding s*x before marriage.
Don’t wait until it’s too late — talk openly now about any struggles either of you may have.
7. Engage in Conversations
One of the most intimate things you can do with your partner without s*x is to talk and listen.
There is nothing more intimate than sharing your thoughts, feelings, and dreams with the one you love.
When you engage in conversation, you are allowing yourself to see into the very heart of your partner.
It is easy to be distracted by technology, but you must make time to simply talk and listen to your beloved.
This brings you to a level of intimacy that cannot be attained by rolling in the hay with your partner.
8. Take Long Walks Together
You can hold hands, walk slowly, and enjoy being at one another’s side.
This gives you a chance to hold hands and share your hopes for the future.
Walking allows you to share things about your life that might not otherwise come up in conversation.
It is a great way to get to know one another better instead of being alone in a private place where you can be tempted.
9. Share Meals Together
You can spend countless hours talking over a meal together or enjoying a picnic basket somewhere outdoors while watching the sun set or rise over the horizon.
Spending time just enjoying being with each other can cause you both to feel closer in ways that will strengthen your relationship for years to come.
10. Have Accountability Partners
Find people you can talk to, and have frequent heart-to-heart conversations with them.
I recommend having both male and female accountability partners.
A woman can help you in areas that a man cannot, and vice versa.
This can be an older couple, a mentor, a pastor, a trusted friend, or a family member with who you and your partner can be honest and vulnerable.
11. Spend Time With Other Couples Who Are Committed to Remaining Pure Until Marriage
Spending time with other couples who are committed will keep you from giving in to temptation when you’re alone with your significant other.
When you’re around other couples who also have a strong commitment to sexual purity, it’s easier to avoid situations that may cause you to stumble or give in to temptation.
So, spend time around other who are committed to remaining pure until marriage and you’ll be better equipped to stay pure as well.
12. Don’t Live Together Before Marriage
Living with your boyfriend before marriage is like playing house.
The two of you pretend to be married and spend most of your time at home together.
But playing house isn’t as fun when you’re doing it 24/7.
Some people argue that cohabitation before marriage is helpful because it gives couples the opportunity to get to know each other better.
The idea is that seeing what it’s like to live with one another will give them a chance to determine whether or not they want to get married.
You don’t have to live with a guy to find out what he’s really like.
You can test and try him out many different ways that do not involve cohabitation.
For example, you can see what he is like on vacation or in times of stress.
Living together is a big commitment and many couples who do it end up getting married just because it seems easier than moving out.
Don’t let yourself fall into that trap — keep your relationship fresh by living separately and spending quality time together.
When you live apart, you will have more opportunities for growth and change because you will have more freedom, privacy, and space for yourself.
You can’t avoid premarital s*x if you live together before marriage.
13. Don’t Date for Too Long
When you spend a lot of time with someone, it’s easy to let your guard down and become more intimate than you should in a dating relationship.
Don’t date indefinitely; rather, set a time when you will get married.
Once you have set your marriage date, then you can set goals in your relationship, and waiting will become easier.
It’s difficult to wait for s*x until marriage when you don’t know when you are getting married.
A courtship is essentially a period of getting to know your partner with marriage in mind.
You do need a plan for how long you will court and what that will look like.
14. Make Sure Your Relationship With God is Strong — Your First Priority
This means spending time with Him daily and reading His Word.
Then allow Him to guide you in the relationship.
Ask God for the grace and strength to stay pure until your wedding night.
It’s tough to stay sexually pure in today’s world but it’s not impossible.
TV and movies often show premarital s*x as a normal part of life and even a way to find true love.
Even well-meaning adults can push us toward making poor decisions in this area by telling us things like, “you need to experience this for yourself.”
But you are an adult yourself and you should make the best decision for yourself.
Every decision has its consequences and no one will face the consequences of your choice with you.
May God help you and your partner in your decision to stay pure until marriage!