No woman wants to be an option to the guy they are dating.
Every woman wants to be a priority and deserves to be.
What happens if a guy is not treating you like a priority?
Or how do you know if he’s treating you like you are disposable?
If your guy is constantly sending mixed signals and you’re not sure where you stand with him, check out these signs to see if you’re just an option to him.
15 Signs You Are Just An Option To Him
15. He doesn’t make time for you
One of the signs a guy shows that you matter to him is by making time for you in his schedule.
If he’s constantly busy and always has some excuse as to why he can’t see you, it’s likely that you’re nothing more than an option to him.
A guy who really likes you and wants to be with you will make time for you no matter what.
14. He only texts you when he’s bored or when he needs something
If a guy only texts you when he’s bored or has nothing else going on, it’s a pretty clear sign that you’re not a priority to him.
He’s not interested in getting to know you or spending time with you, he just wants someone to pass the time with.
If you’re only hearing from him when he wants something, he’s not your BFF (BoyFriend Forever).
13. He never introduces you to his friends or family
If a guy likes you and is serious about you and you have been dating for a while, he will want to introduce you to the people who matter to him.
He will be proud to show you off to his friends and family and will want them to get to know the special person in his life.
If he’s never introduced you to the people who are important to him, you might not be not as important to him as you think.
12. He doesn’t make an effort
Relationships require effort from both partners to work.
In fact, someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.
So, if your relationship is one-sided and you feel like you are the only one who is putting effort into the relationship, he doesn’t treat you as a priority.
A guy who wants to make things work will be willing to put in the effort to keep the relationship running, because he doesn’t want to lose you.
11. He does not like to take the lead in anything
Men like to feel like they are in charge and in control.
So, if your guy never takes the lead in anything, it could be a sign that he doesn’t want to feel responsible for you and the relationship.
I’m not saying he should always take the lead but if he is never taking the lead, it could show that he doesn’t want the responsibility that comes with being in a relationship.
10. He plays mind games with you
One of the signs that you’re just an option to him is if he constantly plays mind games with you.
This includes things like making you jealous, playing hard to get, or constantly testing you.
These are all signs that he is not fully invested in the relationship and that you’re not a priority to him.
You feel like you always have to prove yourself to him or work to earn his love.
9. He doesn’t introduce you as his girlfriend
If he doesn’t introduce you as his girlfriend to people, including his friends, and instead just says “this is my friend” or “this is (your name)”, without extra information, then he hasn’t made up his mind about you.
You might just be an option among many to him.
He hasn’t decided if you’re special enough to be his girlfriend yet.
8. If you bring up the future, he changes the subject
In a relationship that is going somewhere, you should be able to discuss the future without either of you feeling uncomfortable.
You need to know the future of your relationship so that you can make plans and know where you are headed, especially you have been together for a while.
Imagine taking a bus to nowhere?
It doesn’t make sense.
If your guy gets squirmy and changes the subject whenever you bring up the future, he might not be envisioning a future with you.
This is especially true if he refuses to talk about the future at all.
He might not see you in his plans and is just enjoying the present moment.
7. He doesn’t make an effort to get close to you emotionally
If a guy is interested in making you his girlfriend, he will want to get close to you on an emotional level.
This means he will want to share his thoughts and feelings with you and will be interested in hearing about your life.
Men don’t open up as much as women do, but when they meet a woman they love, they want to be emotionally connected to her, so they can’t help but be vulnerable and open up.
If this is not your experience with him, and he seems rather closed-off with you, it might be because he doesn’t see a future with you.
6. He can’t deal with even a little bit of conflict or disagreement
Anyone who has been in a relationship will tell you that disagreements happen, even in the best of relationships.
As a Psychology major, I took a Conflict Resolution course in political science and one of the things I learned is that, conflicts cannot be prevented, they can only be managed.
However, in a relationship, couples who love each other know how to disagree without it turning into a full-blown argument.
If your guy can’t seem to deal with even a little bit of conflict or disagreement, it might be because he doesn’t see you as his long-term partner.
In his mind, it’s not worth getting into a conflict and resolving things because you are just an option to him, so he can risk losing you.
5. He doesn’t miss you when you’re not together
He will text, call, or message you just to see how you’re doing and what you’re up to.
He’ll also want to spend as much time with you as possible and get upset if he can’t see you.
If your guy doesn’t seem to miss you when you’re not together, it might be because there are other options for him, so he doesn’t feel your absence.
He doesn’t even tell you he misses you.
So, you might find yourself always asking him if he misses you.
And his response is always unconvincing and without enthusiasm.
4. He’s not interested in meeting your friends and family
After meeting my man, he requested to speak with my parents within a few weeks.
He said he didn’t want to waste time.
I stalled for a while before I eventually connected him with my parents.
He called them on the phone because he was on another continent.
I’m not saying every guy who is serious with you will want to meet with your loved ones within a few weeks of meeting you.
But I’m saying guys who are sure they want you will not delay unnecessarily when it’s time to meet people who are important to you, e.g., your friends, siblings, or even pastor.
If you are not an option to him and he has good plans for you, why will he not want to meet people who know you?
3. He doesn’t take your opinions into account when making important decisions
If a guy is serious about you, he will want to include you in major decisions that concern both of you.
This shows he cares about your opinion and wants to ensure you are on the same page with him.
It also shows that he respects you enough to want to include you in these decisions.
However, if a guy doesn’t consider your opinions when making important decisions, it might be because he doesn’t see you in his life long-term partner.
2. He doesn’t make an effort to get to know you
A guy who wants to be with you will want to know everything about you; your likes, dislikes, dreams, aspirations, etc.
Getting to know you is important to him because he wants to make sure you are compatible, and he can see himself having a future with you.
If a guy doesn’t make an effort to get to know you, it might be because he is not interested in having a long-term relationship with you.
There’s no need to know everything about you because you are just an option to him, and he can always move on to someone else.
1. He doesn’t show any interest in your life outside of the bedroom
This is one of the hugest signs you are just an option to him.
He doesn’t ask you about your day, how work is going, or how your family is doing.
All he wants to do is come over, hook up, and then leave.
If this describes your relationship, it’s a huge sign that you are just an option to him.
He doesn’t care about your life outside of the bedroom because he is not interested in you as a person.
You are just a means to an end for him and nothing more.
Of course, there are other signs to look out for in addition to these, but if you notice any of these signs, you’re nothing more than an option to him.
So, pay attention to how he treats you and what his actions say about his feelings for you.
If he’s not treating you the way you deserve to be treated, you are not a priority to him.