How to get over a crush on your best friend
We all know how hard it is to get over a crush on someone, especially when that person happens to be your best friend.
For someone to be your best friend, they have to be someone you trust, who you feel comfortable talking to about anything.
Someone you probably talk with almost every day and knows things about you that even your closest family members don’t know.
They are an extension of you, and if they hurt you, it likely hurts more than any other relationship in your life because the level of intimacy is so much higher.
This type of bond is important in friendships and when the feelings turn into something else, it can make things complicated between friends.
Having a crush on your best friend is a dicey situation to be in because you don’t want to lose that friendship.
It’s even more difficult if your best friend is in a relationship with another person or is in love with someone else.
How do you navigate your emotions so you don’t come off as selfish, insensitive, or needy?
One of the biggest reasons someone has a crush on their best friend is because they like how compatible they are with that person – and then there’s also a physical attraction as well (which we all know doesn’t hurt).
With how close you and your best friend are, it can be hard to get over a crush on them because how do you stop thinking about someone when they’re always there?
You may even find yourself wondering why you have feelings for them – maybe their personality is so strong that of course, anyone would fall for them.
But how can you stop a crush on your best friend?
How do you get over the feelings and move past them so that nothing changes between you, but also not feel like something is missing from either of your lives?
Here are some tips on how to get over a crush on your best friend:
How To Get Over a Crush on Your Best Friend
1. Be Honest With Yourself and Evaluate Your Feelings
Even though it’s not always easy to explain a crush, you can usually tell how much of your feelings are based on real connection and how much is just physical attraction.
Ask yourself why you are attracted to your friend.
Is it because of their looks, how they make you feel, their intelligence, how much time the two of you spend together, their personality?
If it’s mostly physical attraction, then that is probably not enough to build a relationship on.
However, if your friend really gets you and makes you laugh when no one else can or seems like someone who would be there through thick and thin then, perhaps this crush could turn into something more meaningful in the future.
But that is only if the feeling is mutual.
2. Judge Your Compatibility
Think about how well you and your friend get along.
Are the two of you compatible in other ways?
Do they make time to hang out with you or do they seem distant when it comes to spending one on one time together?
Do they want a relationship, are they already dating someone else, how much does their significant other matter to them?
Are there any deal-breakers for the two of you such as different political views or religious beliefs that may be hard to overcome even if things become more serious between the both of you later down the road?
If all signs point towards not being a good match then perhaps this crush is best left alone, no matter how attracted you are to them.
Be objective and think about what qualities make them not right for you or why they might not be compatible with you long-term.
By doing so, it’ll help distance yourself from any one-sided emotions and allow room for new people in your life forward.
Some people are better as friends, no matter how strongly you feel about them.
It’s easier to be objective if you know what you want in life and in a partner.
When you have an idea of what is important to you, it’s easier to take your feelings for someone else with a grain of salt when they don’t meet your requirements.
3. How Does Your Best Friend Feel About You?
Consider how your best friend feels about you.
Do you think your bestie shares your romantic feelings?
Do they flirt with you, how much time do the two of you spend together outside of your other friends or are they often unavailable to hang out one on one?
How does your best friend look at you?
The eyes are sometimes the windows to the soul.
Does your bestie look at you with love in their eyes or there is nothing special in the way they look at you?
Do they get jealous when you hang out with the opposite sex or they don’t care how much time you spend away from them?
If it seems like your friend is just not that into you, then chances are this crush should be taken off the table immediately because chasing someone who doesn’t want to reciprocate won’t lead anywhere good for either party involved.
The last thing anyone wants in life is more rejection especially when it comes from someone close to them.
Telling your bestie how you feel about them is a big step.
In fact, it’s a tricky one because it could lead to two different outcomes—you and your bestie figure out how to make things work for the two of you because they feel the same way or it turns into a friendship killer because they don’t feel the same way.
Count the cost before you decide how to approach your best friend and decide on what to do no matter the outcome of your confession.
Don’t let fear hold you back from telling them how much they mean to you, but remember that their feelings for you lie in the balance here.
If your friend doesn’t feel the same way about you, it might be an awkward conversation at first and might hurt like hell but at least now there won’t be any more confusion, and all emotions will be out on the table instead of being bottled up.
If your bestie feels the same way about you, then at least now there will be clarity for how both of you feel and you can take things at a pace that is comfortable for the both of you.
5. Create Boundaries
If you share your feelings with your best friend and they don’t feel the same way about you then it’s time to create some personal boundaries.
A crush that goes unrequited can be a big distraction.
When someone is in your life who doesn’t want the same things as you, how do they affect how you feel about yourself?
Do they make you question if there is something wrong with how you look?
Because if they find you attractive, they should be attracted to you, right?
Create some personal boundaries between yourself and your best friend by limiting the amount of one-on-one time spent together outside of other mutual friends or even group settings where there will be around.
Reduce the frequency of your conversations to give yourself time and space away from how they make you feel.
It will be hard at first, but it’ll get easier over time.
6. Start Meeting New People
If you’ve decided that your friend is just not into you how do you take care of yourself in the meantime?
You can start by taking up new hobbies or making time for other friends.
That way, there will be less room to dwell on how much it sucks to have a crush on someone who doesn’t feel the same way about them as they do about their bestie.
It’s also important to keep an open mind when meeting new people.
Maybe you meet someone at a party who is interested in an innocent flirtation.
If they ask, go out on a date or two to see how it goes.
You never know where things might lead if you don’t give yourself the chance to find out.
Just remember that your bestie will always hold a special place in your heart but there are plenty of other people worth getting to know too.
Don’t push away friendships just because you’re focused on how one person makes you feel.
You will find someone who is into how awesome and fun to be around you are, and wants to be more than a friend with you.
Letting go of your feelings for your bestie might mean saying goodbye to all those romantic dreams about them someday becoming your SO.
But there is plenty of fish in the sea, so don’t limit yourself to just hanging out with one type when there is no mutual attraction!
Remember—letting go doesn’t mean forgetting because we keep our fondest memories close to us forever.
It means not putting all your stock and hope into another person until you decide how they fit into your life.
Letting go doesn’t mean throwing away the feelings of friendship, it just means changing how you look at them so that love can blossom in new ways!
7. Talk to Someone
While having a crush on your best friend is completely normal, it’s important to talk about how you feel out with someone who isn’t emotionally invested in the outcome.
They are likely to be more objective of your situation more than you.
Whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist, they should be someone who can listen without judgment and offer insight on how best to move forward.
They may also have advice for how to navigate being friends with someone while still harboring feelings for them if this is something they’ve experienced themselves.
Crushes happen all the time but sometimes when there isn’t mutual interest, and if what you feel for your best friend goes beyond just having an attraction, then it might be time to seek professional help.